Still scard from last relationship. Been 4 months?

I really don't see myself getting over this anytime soon. How long does it usually take. . I hear half the time you were together. Was my first real relationship.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 4 Months is nothing... it's going to take a lot longer if this person meant a lot to you like most first loves do. However with time it becomes easier to manage the pain and you start to accept things for what it is. Some people say you never really get over your first love and I kinda agree with that. It doesn't mean you won't find someone else and fall in love again but that person will always carry a special place in your heart. I'm also struggling with a break up and have done everything the "experts" advised such as no contact and it definitely helps. But it really all comes down to timing. Timing will heal the wounds but unfortunately we don't know how long it will take.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • If she is also your first love it is quite possible it will take a great deal of time. Although with time some of the pain should subside as well. But if she is your first love you will never forget her. I know it sounds rather cliche but it's true. Doesn't mean you will always grieve the loss of her either. Like I said healing will take time and time in itself stands for nothing, you have to make sure to distance yourself as well.

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  • It varies from person to person, it varies with the intensity of the feelings and emotions in your relationship, and it can also depend on if you broke up with her or if she broke up with you (usually the person who breaks it up gets over it quicker). The best advice I can give you is to fill your time with things you enjoy doing and spend time with friends and family - these things make you reconnect with the people andbthings you love that bring you happiness.

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    • She broke up with me.. shit it kills to me to think she's already fine.

    • Show All
    • She could never communicate her feelings to me althpught she outburst every once in a while in result I didn't. We were both just scared I thibk

    • Yeah both young and under a lot of pressure. I still have trouble sharing my feelings sometimes.

What Guys Said 2

  • The fact that SHE broke up with YOU suggests that she is already over you and the relationship itself, and had been long before the break up happened. Let me explain:

    When a relationship hits a rocky spot the girl will always try her hardest to let you know what's wrong and how to fix it. More often than not men will not understand their GF's needs and the relationship will continue to break down.

    When the girl starts to realise the relationship is going no where, she'll start plotting her "getaway plan". She will get a plan B, a guy she'll start talking to who she likes, she will detach herself from the intimacy and pay less attention to you and the relationship she has with you, and eventually she'll pull the plug.

    Along the way of this "getaway plan", she'll be losing feelings for you and when the break up happens (at her own accord), she will have NO feelings for you whatsoever - therefore making it so much easier for her to move on.

    This happens in 90% of failed relationships out there. The 10% is either when the girl is dumped herself, or the relationship hadn't run it's course and the girl still has feelings for her ex.

    Back to your question about how long it usually takes... it can take years for all I know!

    It all depends on how YOU deal with it. Do you sit at home doing nothing hoping for your ex to contact you? Or do you go out and about and actively forget about your ex and find other new, better people to hang with?

    It all comes down to you... no one here can tell you "Oh it'll take 2 months".

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  • It usually takes about 7 months to get over a person (Thats if you indeed Love that person)

    I tooked roughly about 9-12 months with my past relationship. Will never 100% just fade away.

    Will always stay a memory.
    But it is a painful process.

    Hope you will get through it.
    Kind regards
    Hoped i helped in a way.

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