Girlfriend seems to have visited two dating sites whilst I was gone for two weeks. Breakup or not?

Whilst using my gf's computer the browser suggested a dating site. At first I ignored it but then I thought to myself it would only waste both our time if she isn't happy in the relationship.
So I checked the brower history of the passed two weeks and she has logged into the website at least 3 times, profiles and her inbox. for around 15 min sessions. Also it says that she visited another dating site.

I asked her what the deal was with this dating website in her history and she said it was 'from before we met', later changing it to 'my accounts had been hacked before we met'. Even though when I checked her profile it said 'last logged in on the 9th of June".
She just refuses to admit going to those sites.

She also refuses me to look at her profile, saying " i don't remember the login details". So via the website I sent the details to her email adress, helping her find them. Then she claimed to have never received them, which is also highly unlikely.

Is it possible that someone hacked BOTH her accounts and that the person logged in via her browser AND started logging in whilst I was on holiday? -She being the only one having acces to her computer-.

I would like your opinions on this because I really hope I am wrong about all of this and that she did get hacked. I get the feeling she doesn't want to lose me and I don't want to lose her.

We are broken up now. I even told her I understood why she did it and that I can forgive her -if it doesn't happen again-.
She still refused to admit it and told me she didn't want to reconcile because there was no trust.

If she was telling the truth then I think it's strange she didn't just show me concrete evidence. Clearly she doesn't understand that trust is earnt.

Or she wasn't telling the truth and put the blame on me for some odd reason.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's probable, but highly unlikely!

    She's lying to you dude, sorry. Show her the browser. Tell her to reset the email there in front of you. See the email come in. Log into the account. Tell her to check her messages... including sent.

    If she doesn't mind doing it then I'd say all is fine, but it smells like total crap to me.

    • Damn it :( That's what I thought. Already tried your suggestion (but didn't want to type an even bigger wall of text). She refused to do that saying "you should trust me".

      Thank you very much for your detailed reply.

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    • Well the funny thing is she stopped me from walking out on her a few times. She even tried to keep me from walking out on her Saturday evening. So she did put a lot of effort into keeping me when I was physically standing infront of her.

      And yes she asked me not to talked to her friends, I will respect that wish. Even though I know it's just to save her face.

      And yes if anyone asks I would definitely tell them my side of the story ;)

      Thanks for the replies.

    • No worries, although I don't advocate getting bitchy and catty after a break up just remember you don't owe her any discretion. Your e right, she doesn't want you to talk to her friends so she can maintain that image of the Hard Done By jilted lover.

      Hope things work out for you. Best of luck... and remember this was her being a dick, not everyone is a dick.

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What Girls Said 3

  • For me, it would be her denial which was the deal breaker here. While going on an online dating site isn't acceptable, I think that it could be easily worked through. From what you've said it seems very unlikely for her not to have been on the dating sites herself. However, you reluctance to disbelieve her suggests that you do have some trust in her. If you believe what she is saying, and you think she hasn't been on the dating sites, let it go. If you trust her, this shouldn't be a problem.

    • I believe in everything but your last sentence.

      Trust and honesty are different thing and go hand in hand.
      Trust is earnt. How? By being honest.

      She had my trust. But I wanted to test her trust in this imporant matter. By seeing if she would be honest about it.
      All she had to do was be honest -> tell me she was visiting dating sites. Or proving she wasn't.

      She didn't want to prove she wasn't - thus jeopardizing the trust in her from there onwards. And because she was being dishonest about a fairly serious matter. There would be no more trustworthiness in matters like this from now on.

      I could have forgiven her going to the sites and actually did. I just can't forgive dishonesty about serious matters like this because it breaks down my trust in matters like this.

      I actually forgave her going to the sites. But she said she wanted to remain broken up because there 'was no trust'. I thought that was a mean thing to say, because she simply put all the blame on me by saying that.

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    • Thanks for the MHO, I hope things are looking up for you now.

    • Yea sorry for selecting it so late. And thanks, I'm just trying to get a long with life ya know haha. ^^

  • I hate to say it but it sounds like you guys should breakup. It does sound like she is lying and keeping secrets. That is no way to have a relationship. I believe trust is vital amd once it is broken it is very hard to gain back.

  • I would leave her. But it is up to you. Women cheat as often as men and they all lie about it.

    • Yes it's unfortunate.

      I also have a feeling that once someone who was initially 'honest' has been cheated on. They tend to cheat more in the future.

      Thank you for your reply.

What Guys Said 1

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