Guys, How long should I wait before I tell my LDR ex boyfriend I got a job in his area?

Long story somewhat short, my long-distance relationship with my boyfriend went from a very loving, very serious relationship, to a strained one. He was deployed overseas (in a non-combat zone, however), and I was returning to college. It was probably the hardest time of my life, with multiple upheavals and major changes in my life and deteriorating health. He had his own stresses too, and a few months ago, he broke up with me. It was devastating, but I took the time to take care of myself, get healthier, and finish my classes. I also took a month to myself before I reestablished contact with him. He and I still message and email occasionally, and we are on friendly terms, though he is still distant.
Now, the situation is that I just got and accepted a good job offer in his state, not far from where he lives. We both are in better places; he's home from deployment, and things are better for me too. He doesn't know anything about my new job yet. A few months ago, he would have been absolutely thrilled if I told him I was moving near him (I live in AZ and he lives in AK). In fact, I believe that me not wanting to close the distance was one of the reasons he felt he had to end the relationship. But since we are no longer in a relationship, now his feelings about it could go either way. The main reason I chose to apply for jobs in AK was to give him and I another chance together, but I want this job even on it's own, as it will be good for me and quite and adventure.
I was thinking I'd wait a week or two until I got established up there before I told him I was in his area, and hopefully from there we'd meet up. But would it be better if I told him about my job and relocation before I get there? (I only have a week before I go!) Would it make a guy feel angry somehow if his ex got a job close to him and didn't tell him about it beforehand? Tell me what you think, it would be great to hear guy's thoughts on this.

  • Tell your ex boyfriend before you go! Don't surprise him!
    Vote A
  • Wait until the time seems right, after you get settled in, before you tell your ex boyfriend.
    Vote B
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Updates:
So, I told my previous boyfriend about my new job and relocation, and he seemed very pleasantly surprised. He was open to hanging out, and he even wanted to give me one of his cars for my use. So far, so good! Thanks for your input guys.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like a bad idea to wait. If you want to try again with him then you don't want it to appear you keeping secrets. That is never a good way to start anything.

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What Guys Said 3

  • The man has served his country and shows no indications of wanting a relationship. Leave him be, go on with your life, many let HIM suggest getting back together.

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  • If you want this to work out, there is no other option than telling him ASAP.

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  • Tell him before so you don't look like a crazy stalker lol

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