Why did my ex say such hurtful things?

We had just broken up and we were on the phone and he said a lot of mean things like he wished he had never dated me, there was something wrong with me, he would have never married me, he was lying to me from the beginning and hoping to just get in my pants and all these other hurtful things. He apologized the next day and said that he only said that stuff because he was trying to get off the phone and I wouldn't let him and he was sorry but I'm curious if he said those things when he was angry could they have deep down been true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can never know his reasons. No matter what he says. The question is "why does it matter so much to you?"

    It's clear that he's unstable and immature. There's nothing to be done about that.

    Don't waste time trying to determine if you've been wasting time with him or not. The good times you had were real because you had fun and felt loved, I'm assuming. Those memories are not based on what his intentions were... they are based on how you felt when they happened. Don't spend time going back to relive and re-evaluate the meaning behind every moment of intimacy and fun.

    It's called mental masterbation, and it's harmful.

    All you should be thinking about NOW is NOW. Make yourself a priority. Take care of yourself now. Remind yourself that you're not a measure of what other people think, or what ex-boyfriends did or said. You know who you are and how awesome you are. That's all that matters. Don't seek approval and don't be needy.

    You're awesome. That's all that matters now.

    ~ Robby

    (My Blog https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com )

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What Guys Said 4

  • Na just typical behavior when a break up happens.. Trying to put you down as if you were the problem, even though its a 2 way straight. Dont worry about it

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  • He's just angry, can't let go,... he just wants to hurt you now... ignore it
    if he says such things, he's not worth your attention

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  • he was trying to save face. he was also immature. go find better

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  • They could have been true.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Many times when two people Break up and even Before the split, they spit and splat Out words, Hurtful ones, When Angry. This is why he said all of these things and using lame duck excuses when he told You... He was trying to get off the phone and I wouldn't let him.
    No, these are the words of a Mad man who was telling you how 'Mad' he was at that moment, as far as his emotions were going and flowing, and wanted to get this off his chest instead. He may have gone overboard but this was what he was telling you and having calmed down now, he is Now telling you a different story but in a different sort of way.
    No, he didn't mean it... he was just aggravated at this convo in general and when you 'Wouldn't let him off the phone,' he rambled on like an idiot. He lost control, was venting on you because you made him crazy just then.
    Good luck. xx

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  • It's a defense mechanism. When people are hung they want others to hurt also.

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