We had just broken up and we were on the phone and he said a lot of mean things like he wished he had never dated me, there was something wrong with me, he would have never married me, he was lying to me from the beginning and hoping to just get in my pants and all these other hurtful things. He apologized the next day and said that he only said that stuff because he was trying to get off the phone and I wouldn't let him and he was sorry but I'm curious if he said those things when he was angry could they have deep down been true?
Most Helpful Guy
You can never know his reasons. No matter what he says. The question is "why does it matter so much to you?"
It's clear that he's unstable and immature. There's nothing to be done about that.
Don't waste time trying to determine if you've been wasting time with him or not. The good times you had were real because you had fun and felt loved, I'm assuming. Those memories are not based on what his intentions were... they are based on how you felt when they happened. Don't spend time going back to relive and re-evaluate the meaning behind every moment of intimacy and fun.
It's called mental masterbation, and it's harmful.
All you should be thinking about NOW is NOW. Make yourself a priority. Take care of yourself now. Remind yourself that you're not a measure of what other people think, or what ex-boyfriends did or said. You know who you are and how awesome you are. That's all that matters. Don't seek approval and don't be needy.
You're awesome. That's all that matters now.
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