I don't want to love him anymore.. How do I turn it off? :( any advice?

How can someone who doesn't even have me still hurt me? It's ridiculous. How do you just stop caring for someone. It's been years, I don't want to think about what might have been or see him in a song. It should be gone by now. There should be no reason for my heart to ache even a little for him. I've got to find a way to turn it off because every other weekend I drive away in tears my heart breaking all over again. 😔

Updates:
We're divorced. I'm just trying to find a way not still care for him. I've loved him since I was 15. And it's obvious I always will.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The hardest part with your question, and not something I wish to pry into, is that we don't the nature of your divorce. Love is a tough thing, especially when it's developed at such an early age. Age 15 is still during that formative stage where the body is developing faster than the brain, and peer influence is carries greater weight than parental. So, the bonds you develop with friends, and those you love, tend to be very deep and lasting.

    Not only that, but I am assuming you were with that person for over a decade. That is coming close to 50% of your life that you shared with this individual.

    It's going to take a while and may last months, if not longer. However, slowly it will begin to diminish and fade, and you'll begin to replace that feeling of loss with new experiences and emotions.

    Give it time. The healing process is a slow one.

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    • I never thought of that but it's very true. I suppose relationships built at that age do seem to hold tight and true. Yes, it was pretty much my whole life or at least it felt that way. I think he may just always be there, that i will always care for him. It doesn't plague my everyday like it did at first, it's just strange to me and no one seems to understand why or how I could still feel enough to shed a tear every now and again. Maybe it true what they say, if you ever truly love someone, some part of you never stops. I really appreciate your advise and kind words. Thank you.

    • I'm glad I could help. Give it time and you'll begin to catch yourself smiling more, thinking of him less, and remembering new experiences, rather than the old. Life is a book in which new pages are written every day. Soon, you'll have whole new chapters of your life to remember and smile over.

    • I often think of life as a book as well :) can't move on the next chapter if I'm still rereading the last one right? Time to close this one, make it a happy memory, and start a new chapter for me. Thanks again, you really did make me feel better about it all.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You just need to focus on yourself. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. When you really love yourself and feel comfortable with yourself as a woman, you seriously won't even care about guys who aren't worth it because you'll just brush it off and not even waste your time on assholes in the first place. And if you do meet some and it ends badly, you'll walk away happy knowing you're worth more anyway.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • if he's treatin u like shit, i believe it'd b wrong to still think bout him coz he doesn't deserv it...

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  • Find someone else to replace it.

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  • Cut contact with him

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What Girls Said 8

  • No Contact, not even going by his house here, dear... You are Only prolonging what your heart is Not telling your head instead and with you 'Every other weekend I drive away in tears,' this is Not the way or the Right direction In... Moving on.
    You need to end this madness, you have to be strong. There is nothing you can do now in going back together because if it were meant to be, you wouldn't be crying the blues on GAG right now.
    Start staying as far away at arm's Length... You need to be out of harm's way. The memories are killing you because you seem to still have touch with Reality. Don't go anywhere near where he lives so you can begin your beguine Of... Living.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I will have a last conversation so I am no longer in doubt.

    Then, block him from social medias, delete his number, etc.

    Pick up my phone and call a friend and go have some fun.

    Start keeping occupied with hobbies , and soon he will fade.

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  • find a new love

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  • Ohmygoooood I could not relate more. You can't hun, it all takes time. Believe it or not but you'll probably get over him when you get a new one.

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  • I know this website is about asking each other for help and even more, but you guys got to stop being so manipulative. Yes, she already told you guys how she feels and asked for advice but in reality, she doesn't need that. So girl. start thinking about what you really want to do and don't clinge into others who doesn't know a damn about you neither do I. because these people have problably been in the same situation but far worse, they just want you to follow what they "did" in their past with a loved one maybe who the hell knows. Count on this becasue I know you can do better being off this website. Count on this. Nobody doesn't need to know about what lead to your divorce. look how greedy people can get.

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  • hey well to start out close ur eyes and clear your mind don't think about any of that breath in and out 5 times and sometimes it is good to have like a stress ball so while your breathing you can squeze the stress ball and u can do that when ever you feel sad and about to cry about ur ex i hope i helped. if you need any nore edvice comment to me.

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  • Same here. Doesn't even have me. Maybe, they have a part of our hearts?

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    • Sometimes it gets a little harder with time... I know what you mean about "see" him in a song... the heart feels so much and knows no bounds. Even if they are not with us. Their presence still lingers

    • He will definitely always have a part of my heart. It's just crazy how some days I can honestly feel the heartbreak like it just happened. It's not fair. It's ridiculous that I still have love for him like that. I guess what the heart once knew, it always feel.

    • Yes no matter how long the time passes. Just try to think of his smile and think of that. It may make you cry but the memory is fond😊

  • Time... it's the only thing and it sucks but there is nothing else you can do.

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