Husband left me. Why do I feel desperate for another man?

I really want another guy and as soon as possible. Is this normal?
what should I be actually be doing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you're system is in shock for being suddenly alone and you want to fill that need as soon as possible because it became your routine. It's normal. Your mind and body are aching for what your husband just took away. It's a bit like smoking, you need to just give yourself time and the healing will be a bit more healthy for you if you DON'T get wound up with another man, especially so quickly. You are probably not in the right mind right now to have a relationship, and it wouldn't be fair to a guy to wrangle him in and potentially form feelings for you. There are plenty of books out there on how to grieve through a separation and that's exactly what you're doing right now, grieving a loss. Here's a link to a myTake I wrote a few months ago on some things you can do to try and make yourself happy that don't include a partner just to get you through the tough time right now.
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a9257-tips-on-finding-happiness
    Good luck! :) You'll be okay.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • No it's not normal, at least not to me. left you meaning? left the relationship or is he no more? I don't understand, how long has it been since your husband left you?

    Okay, it depends if your relationship was deep, you love was deep then how can you so fast get over it, now either you are really very strong in getting over things or your relationship and love between wasn't strong enough, I am not sure what it is. However you yourself mentioned desperation, and let me tell you it's not good at all, I mean being desperate isn't good at all. If you have decided to move on, give yourself time, know yourself better, look at the mistakes you made in the past relationship and so on, so before going for another man, be ready prepare yourself first otherwise your next relationship will be shaky if you do something out of desperation.

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  • I recommend that you take some time to work on yourself. Do something for yourself that you have been meaning to do. Find ways to better yourself. Also take some time to reflect and accept what happened with your husband. Doing things like that will help you move forward and definitely pay off in the long run.

    Also, I don't recommend rebounds or things like that. Simply because desperation can make all of us do stupid things and get us into trouble. Also, many people, both men and women, will try to take advantage of someone who is on the rebound.

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  • Yes that is pretty normal I guess. I know some girls who feel need to get another guy immediately after break up. That is when I usually come in haha. The new guy is also called a 'rebound'.
    what should you be doing? I don't know get a guy or something. Probably couple of one night stands wouldn't hurt either.

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  • It's normal. Send me a private message, please. I'd like to know you.

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  • Grab the nearest guy avaiable and fuck him. Promise you, you will feel better afterwards.

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  • That will be cheating

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  • Maybe you're using it to help you get over him. Just wait a while

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What Girls Said 8

  • u just miss the comfort of having someone to love and who loves u in return. however, dont destroy yourself by your own desperation. think clearly and dont let ur emotions guide u. use ur head.

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  • Cause you're probably used to always having someone in your life. It's hard for you to be alone. Do whatever you want, you're not with your husband anymore.

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  • You're looking for a rebound. Don't do it.

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  • I believe you feel that way because, you need to satisfy a necessity you created in yourself. Probably there was almost nothing real between you and him, and when the small portion of reality was gone, he left.

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  • Because you found your identity with being with a man. You're used to it. Take some time to heal. I'd recommended the program "Magnetic Woman" by Nicole Abundance. She's a coach from women to help them heal old wounds & learn self-love.

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  • This is a totally normal reaction. However if you can resist it I would. Speaking from experience it won't make you feel any better. I know it sounds dull but try to concentrate on yourself and just see who comes along...

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  • Don't get a rebound. you need to eat a bowl of ice cream and stuff your mouth with chocolate. you need to think, be depressed and cry it out. for God sakes your husband just left you!
    No rebounds for you.
    😈

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  • Probably because you feel another man will help you to forget the pain of your husband leaving. Being with another man would be like taking a narcotic or alcohol. It may relieve the pain, make you happy and on a high , but it's only momentary. Another man would just be an otional crutch to lean on. It wouldn't bring you emotional stability. Sometimes you have to " stand " on your own to prevent yourself from " falling"

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