How can I navigate this most difficult period of my life?

Hello GaskG,

I've been going through the most difficult period of my life since myngorl friend of fove years broke up with me about ten months ago. We began seeing eachother when were about 13, and quickly became physically involved. last September, she texted me and broke up with me. This was the third time she has done so, butwehad always gotback together. I can't say she did not have a reason for doing as she did, for I can be very difficult tospend timse with, as I am always wiling to listen, but I have trouble letting people in, unless I don't personally know thosepeople to whom I am speaking. Anyway, right after she texted me as much, I was really angry. I started to realize only the faults amongst all the great things about her, and I told her it was fineif she wanted to leave. I really regret that, but what I regret more was, starting todrink heavily to get over her. I was always drunk fir thefollwing 7 months, constantly turning her downwhen she wanted to reconcile. Now she has moved on to a new man, someone older, in his later 20's apparently, who makes a decent living. I can't compete with him, at 18, but I can't live without her anymore. I've tried and failed to killm yself with pills, but I guess dieing wouldn't really get her back. As you can probably tell shehad ample reason for leaving me, but my good lord, I would change my entire personality for her. If I can't do that, however I will need to move on. how is it possible to do so? Thank you.
I just re-read my post, and I am very apologetic regarding the innumerable typos and grammatical errors.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn bro... Let her go
    I I know it's hard but tell her that you will always care about her and appreciate everything she has ever done for you and that you will always remember your relationship as something special

    She gave you a few chances to get back with her and you turned her down. She might be over you and that's fine. But you will have to learn to move one
    Hang in there bro, become stronger focus on becoming the best version of yourself and you will undoubtledly find a new woman

    • I suppose that it's nostalgia that really has a hold on me now. The me that turned her down still remembered all the reasons why our relationship was mostly destructive. Your reminding me of my choice not to reconcile during those first months really puts that into perspective.

      Thank you.

    • You're welcome my friend, good luck, breaking up with/getting over a girl that you shared so much time with is never easy, but in this case its necessary, you are still young and must start a new chapter
      Best wishes

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What Girls Said 1

  • Everyone goes through this
    they reach out to a suitable replacement
    NOT alcohol, etc.
    that brings to show them what a real match can be = pleasant, not torture

    What you thought was THE love match
    was a nasty trick illusion, sorry to say
    and many of us fall into this trap

    You are still so jailed by this experience that you don't even know to feel lucky that the door has been unlocked so you can have more than just this one bad experience with other potential GFs

    • It's funny, but reading your post, and the others here, is really bringing back to mind why I felt so free those months prior to my longing for this firl again. I was happy when first she broke up with me, as well, of course, as being upset, (seems contradictory) because I do k ow other women who seem to me, quite different from my ex and yet wonderful in their own ways, and that made me appreciate the freedom to try some one more suitable, and perhaps less constraining.

      Thank you for your help.

What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry for all this pain in your life. You probably know now that alcohol etc can never get you over a failed relationship.
    Stop focusing on her but rather on that girl who will come along in your life who will leave you awestruck. Prepare yourself for her by repairing your life leaving alcohol behind changing your personality faults and work toward getting a good job that will give you a decent living.
    I'm not saying it will be easy. You may need some help from counseling etc. But the change will be worth every effort you make. Don't stay focused on what you lost but rather on what you are about to gain.

    • Thank you. I've been trying to stop drinking, and this being my third attempt may be that which carries the day. It seems that focusing on other things of great import has helped with preventig the need. Soon I'll be out of highschool, hopefully to a new beggining. It's just difficult imagining it without your childhood friend, role model, and lover.

      Thank you for your support.

    • It is the rare person that beats alcohol without some help. So be quick to get help if you sense yourself slipping. There is no shame in needing help. What is shameful is that you might waste an otherwise useful life being a slave to any substance. My prayers are for you.

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