What the fuck is wrong with me?

I miss my ex. My abusive piece of shit ex, I miss him. He screwed me over and I can't believe I miss him! Was fine few months and now for the past few days I started thinking romantically about him. WTF? I guess I remember our good old days and how he used to be the best... I miss that person. Not this asshole. But it's hard to separate those two. I can't seem to let go of who he used to be...

Please tell me this is normal? Been 3 months since he dumped me, and we were together for 3 years.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course it can be normal. At least you had the sense to get away and recognize him for what he is; which is a pos abusive asshole.

    You had feelings for him, and they don't always just go away. Also, once the trauma of getting out of a bad relationship wears off, you go through a phase of remembering the good things about that person and good times you had with him. That's not love, but it's lust. Not just in the sexual sense, either, but you're pining for a superficial aspect that makes you desire that person, while forgetting the major reasons why you split from him.

    It's okay to feel the way you do. You're human and gave your heart to someone who shit on it. As long as you always realize how dangerous and destructive to you he was mentally and physically, and know to stay away from him, then you'll be fine.

    Don't hate yourself for missing the good intimate times and when he was nice. Process them like you have the rest and step outside of yourself as an objective bystander to observe the feelings without acting out on them via impulse, if that makes sense.

    Good luck and hang in there, you'll be fine.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You were so used to being with him that you don't know how to feel. You were with him for so long and even though he is an "abusive piece of shit" doesn't mean anything. You had went through so much stuff with him and he knows so much about you and visa versa. It is completely normal and all you can do is try not to think of it. But whatever you do DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM! If he was abusive it isn't good for you and you deserve better. Good Luck Girly!!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it's normal. Whatever you do, do *not* go back to it. Whoever he was, he isn't anymore. I can't say why people change. I've never understood abusers. I think I'd rather die than abuse a woman. But back on track here, try to focus on the future. There's tons of good men out there. You'll find your knight.

  • It's normal. You tend to build a deep connection with someone when you are in a relationship with them. A lot of the times its a deeper connection than we realize. So it's going to take time to sever that connection. Just remember why you left him and do not take him back or have any contact with him.


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