My boyfriend and i have been together for several years. We were in college when we started dating and everything was great for so many years. Last year we went on a break and he was sexting another girl. He was talking to girls before we broke up and i think thats why he wanted to break up because he didn't want to hurt me (we were fighting a lot more). He always said he wasn't seeing anyone while we broke up and i kept saying i wanted to date or was going to date out of anger but i never did. I was really upset when we got back together and we were still on off and in between i found out he was still talking to her, probably one of the times we were fighting and breaking up. We decided at the beginning of this year to make it work, he said he would change.
We were doing much better, less fights but i was still upset and started saying i was going to move away for a job. I kept indicating that it wouldn't work, which was extemely dumb i know but he was being a lot more attentive and we were doing things and getting along. I decided once i knew my job was here, i would tell him right away.
I just found out he went to go meet that girl and cheated on me. He was heartbroken when i found out and keeps saying he made the biggest mistake of his life. he said he really thought our relationship would be over once i was gone and that i felt stuck with him and wanted out. He said he hated the fights about the past and thought i wanted it to end. I had told him right before he left to see her (he lied to me that he was going on a work trip) that my job was here but im not sure if i pushed him too much by that time. He wanted us to move in and start a life together but i kept up the whole i want to move for 3 months. He said he started talking to the other girl once we were in a big fight and i said i was going to move. He says he was vulnerable and felt i didn't want him. Is it worth giving it another chance if i truly feel he is the love of my life? Am I also at fault?
Most Helpful Girl
No. Vulnerably exposing your heart to someone who has already emotionally, mentally, and spiritually put you in harm's way by cheating on you is unwise and a major smack in the face to your potential self. Either option is going to sting for a while, but at least cutting him out of your life is something you know for sure that the future you will thank you for. Sometimes, you have to have a conversation with the future version of yourself. Envision the woman you want to be, what her life looks like, what her heart looks like, what the corridors and pathways of her mind and spirit look like... then you have to simply swiftly eliminate any person, thing, or experience that keeps you away from that future you. This would be one of those times, girly :/ Not only that, but you are always going to wonder if he is respecting and honoring you behind your back which is going to cause stress and anxiety which is not only fair but can effect your levels of cortisone and effect your cardiovascular system.
The more real version: Your dumb ass, insensitive fool of a boyfriend has put himself in a position where he can be outshined. By cheating on you, shitting all over your feelings and the bond you two built, and essentially screwing you over, he has planted the seed that there is a man out there who is better than him and MORE EQUIPPED to make you happy. Clearly, he does not know how to take care of your heart and he is better at being an egotistical whore than being a highly valuable significant other. If you'd really like to stick up for yourself, you can say that to his face with a smile right before you walk away from him forever.
No, you are not at fault: he is for being a piss poor boyfriend who lacks integrity and shows no loyalty. Leave him. You deserve better. In fact, save his name in your phone to 'You Deserve Better'.1
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