Is there still a chance?

So the girl in question I've known for 4 years. We met in high school and we always had this crush on each other but we were both shy so nothing happened. We were known as the couple that never was. I had to move away after 2 years to Germany but we stayed in touch, texting every for a couple of days every 3 or 4 months. After being away from her, she found another guy but it was a weird relationship.

In February we get back in touch and we get closer than we've ever been befrore. We texted every day and every night, and she tells me that she's coming here for a gap year in July. I'm ecstatic. We started flirting like we used to and after a few weeks I break and tell her I'm in love with her. She says, It only took you 4 years to say it.

So we start a long distance relationship and we always talked about a future together and that we were always meant to be and now is the time when we can finally be together. Everything was falling in place perfectly. She even suggested we get promise rings. She is the love of my life and I want to marry this girl.

One night she starts to cry over a promise I made her that reminder her ex. She apologizes many times and I tell her it’s okay but after a week she was never over it and said that she isn’t ready for a relationship, but when she is she definitely wants it to be with me. She asks for some time and after about 2 weeks she contacts me again.

We still stay in touch but not as much and she seems more distant, sometimes just ignoring me but she texts me a few hours later. I tried the "no contact" twice but she always texts me back after 2 or 3 days to see if I'm okay, which makes me think she hasn't given up yet. I'm seeing her again for the first time since I left 2 years ago in about a month. What are some things I should avoid doing, and what should I do to make her feel more comfortable with me? I want to show her the new me in real life, not through Skype or text, and I want to show her that I'm not the shy guy I was 2 years ago. We're meeting in this town in germany that I've only been to once so I kind of just want us to meet up and just hang out without a plan and get lost together and start over.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She obviously has feelings for you, so of course there's a chance! :) I think she's just not ready for a relationship for some reason. I don't know what's going through her mind, though, but she's being honest with you at least.
    I think you should show her that guy you want to show her. Make those days be the best and make her want to repeat. Have attitude, but don't pressure her. That way she'll be comfortable with you. I wish you both good luck!

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    • Thank you for the reply. When we got back in touch and everything started, she was depressed about her last breakup as it was only about a month before. When we talked I couldn't tell she was so upset. She only told me that her ex was a dick and didn't seem too bothered by it. We just got closer and closer and had good times like we did 2 years ago. Finally I told her about my feelings for her (not knowing about her depression). I would've waited before I told her everything, had I known that she was so upset. Anyway, when it ended she told me that she just needed some time and that she didn't want to hurt me but she needed to do this for herself. She couldn't stop thanking me for how much I helped her feel better during the last 4 months that we talked constantly, and that she couldn't have made it through her last semester of school without me. She says that I treat her like a princess and that I'm a much better guy than she ever imagined.

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    • She will be here until next year. After that she may go back, or she may decide to stay and study here. Fingers crossed we can get back together, and she doesn't have to leave. Either way, I hope we make it work. There are so many things that are trying to push us apart, but I know that we can fight through them and make this work.

    • That's very good. So, since you have the time, don't pressure her too much like I said, ok? But still show her you have attitude (;
      I hope she stays with you. Love can win, and you have to believe that yours is stronger than the obstacles, so don't give up! I wish you the best with this girl.
      Thanks for MHO btw! :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would say just be cautious of her feelings. Don't make her feel like you are pressuring her into anything that she doesn't want to do. Try not to come across too strong as that might scare her off.
    It sounds like she is just a little wary of a relationship not you. give her time and she should feel comfortable and open up more.

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    • Thank you for the reply. I'll admit, I think I did put some pressure on her. After her 2 week break, I reassured her that I will always be there for her because she was going through a tough time, and I'll always be waiting for her for when she's ready. I told her she's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me and she said that she appreciates the complements very much, but she needs me to stop complementing her. I thought it was weird, but I stopped so I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. It's been a few weeks but she seems alright.

What Guys Said 1

  • nice plan bro.
    yeah it seems there's a chance, since she breaks "no contact" rule, so there's some interest from her side

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    • The first time I did no contact, she texted me about 4 times and even emailed me and said that she was very worried about me. The second time she only texted me once but said she was still worried about me. When we do talk it's like she's playing hard to get which she never did before.

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    • Ah, I understand now. I hope that isn't a bad thing though. I don't want her to lose interest in me or get bored of me, but every time I do no contact, she contacts me. I told her a couple times goodnight, and that I miss her because I'm 6 hours ahead of her, and she says she misses me too, but only when I say it. She never tells me that, only when we had a relationship. Is this normal for now?

    • i guess it's ok otherwise i don't see y she'd chase u when u r not there

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