Should I return them?

Ten months ago my ex broke up with me out of the blue - by text. It was a bad break up, especially for me: not only I had to recover from being lied to and being dumped by the guy that I thought was the love of my life (he immediately started to see someone he met before breaking up with me... most likely there was some overlapping), but also because of the break up I lost my job and had to move. It was a pretty dark winter for me. I have been no contact for months now, and did not reply when he attempted to reach some weeks ago (with an excuse, I believe). I feel better now and slowly moving on.

Today I found a memory card of his among my stuff, there are some personal family photos in it. I know he is very attached to memorabilia... I feel he does not deserve any kind gesture for what he made me go through. But I also feel so bad for having something that probably has sentimental value for him. I don't know... I just feel it's right to "do to others as you would have them do to you." I did not change my mind about reconciliating, even only as "friends" - he insisted on being friends (!!!) when he broke up with me.

So my question is... should I return them? If so, how can I make sure he does not see this as an attempt to get in touch with him? I really don't want to talk - there is nothing to say, really. Especially because I belive he is still happy with the person he dumped me for.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I think the best thing to do would be tomail it to him. There's no contact between the two of you or any other party associated with him. There's no stress beforehand or re-emergence of old memories, feelings and emotions. It's quick, easy and painless.

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    • I agree. We live thousands of miles away from each other now, so mailing or emailing are the only options. Unfortunately just the thought of him makes me sad. But having to meet him would be much, much worse!!

    • I completely understand. I have been in your shoes. I will tell you that it gets way better. You just need time to heal.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • As much as it pains me to say so, I probably would return it. It's not doing you any good. Who knows, maybe in the future that single gesture will change his attitude? I'm not saying you should get back with him, but it takes a lot to be the bigger person sometimes.

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    • I so agree! I would feel bad for keeping something that does not belong to me. He most likely does not even remember of them, but I am sure he will appreciate having them returned. It's hard for me to forgive him, and I will probably never forget... But this is a nice gesture I should do for myself.

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    • It was a nice gesture of yours. It does not matter if she did not reply. I am sure she appreciated it.

    • Life's too short to be bitter. I play at being an angry guy, and I like alt rock, but I'm really just a kitten. You gotta keep the walls up or anything will just walk right in. :P

  • Nah just leave it or burn them hahah

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  • It's really sad story specially someone like me who have gone through the same, i can say it was saddest moment of my life because i relied too much,... in the friendship offer i think he was selfish when he left and broke a heart then why care now?, my ex and i broke up 4 years ago and i talk with her 4 or 5 times since, but i never wanted or want to be friends with her we left for good.

    it was all about i forgive you and forgot you. see ya!

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  • if you were close with any of his family, pass it to them instead or mail it

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    • They all cut contact with me. And I had to move to another state. I guess mailing would be only option. Or perhaps upload them somewhere and send him the link to download them.

What Girls Said 5

  • Mail them to his mom. Or mail them to him in an envelope that doesn't have your return address on it. You don't have to write a note or anything. Just simply put them in and mail them. If you don't know his address, give them to someone you know he sees on a regular basis and tell them to give them to him. No contact needed.

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    • That's a good suggestion. I can mail them "anonymously," he probably will figure out where they come from. But no note... is a message. No contact.

  • I would probably just trash it. He sounds like an idiot anyway and he hasn't gone looking for it.

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  • Mail it to him if it makes you feel better. No note or anything just the memory card. And good for you for standing your ground and not being his "friend" He doesn't deserve it.

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  • He sounds like he sucks. and he had no concerns for how you felt when he left you, and you shouldn't be worried about how he feels. I would say just text him or something and tell him you have it, and let him make the effort to get it..

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  • Yes you should.

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