Have you ever dated an alcoholic?

I've known my guy for seven years on and off. This time was the first time we really dated seriously and I just ended it because I can't handle it anymore. He drinks a lot, which I knew from the beginning. But he disappears for days. I know he's not cheating on me or anything like that. But it's still too much. I'm always worried about him. Where he is, who he is with. He has a lot of negative influences in his life who like to spend his money. He's an amazing man and I would love to have a future with him, but not like this. Anyways, have you ever dated an alcoholic and/or drug addict?

  • Yes I have.
    Vote A
  • No I have not.
    Vote B
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55

Most Helpful Girl

  • Addicts are very hard to love and deal with. They are very selfish people and act on impulse. But it doesn't mean that admiss all the chaos they don't love you. Many hate themselves. They don't feel worthy. My current boyfriend and I are both recovering addicts. It can be very stressful. You have to decide how much you are willing to give to this person and stick to your boundaries. And always remember that you cannot under any circumstances help them if they aren't willing to help themselves. Many addicts have underlying mood disorders such as anxiety, depression, bi polar etcetera that they aren't coping with correctly and self medicating. So even when they get sober it opens up a whole new mess of problems. To stay sober many have to seek treatment with those as well. Addicts can manipulate, they are masters at "woe is me", blame, and guilt. It's hard to find the delicate balance between helping them and enabling. My best advice is to educate yourself the best you can. There are countless support groups such as alanon to provide you with insight and coping skills. I hope this helps and good luck

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • No, but I'm a bartender. I've seen it plenty of times. I know exactly what you're talking about. But if they don't want to get help, there isn't much that can be done. It's sad to see, though.

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  • No and I never will. Way too much drama and a lot of addicts will try to take advantage of the people around them in order to feed their habits.

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  • No, I haven't.

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  • No, that will be terrible.

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  • Alcoholics tend to be bad decision makers. I would never date one.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I have had to deal with a Raw 'Deal' of Coping with a person and persons in my life and where it was either drinking or drugs...
    It's hard to be in Any relationship with someone like this. You don't have a 'Future with him' as long as they refuse to get help. And the longer you stay, the more you Enable them to bring you down with them, which only ends up going down a badly beaten path and ending up to be a War of the Roses.
    All you can do, aside from Not to Continue picking up the problem pieces, is suggest getting him help. If he refuses, then you need to walk away and give him his walking papers and tell him to call you one day when he decides that you are Worth... Getting help for as well as himself.
    For now, focus on you and try not to Think About... Negative anything in his life.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I completely understand your situation. It's extremely hard and very very sad.

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  • He needs help or you can't be with him

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  • never would.

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