Most Helpful Guy
Well, I've kind of had that situation. Here is a story from my high school days. (Granted I'm 19 now)
Back in senior year, I had a huge crush on a girl who was on the cross country team with me. We were good friends, we had plenty of mutual friends. We had our own personal jokes, etc. etc. Anyway, I ended up asking her good friends if she had a boyfriend or anything of that sort. They said they didn't think she did. I gathered the courage to confess...
when I saw her with her boyfriend making out.
Apparently, she had a boyfriend who went to a different school and none of her friends knew about him. My reaction to this was naturally a bit of heartbreak, and I ended up giving up on asking her out. The feelings were still there, but I didn't think it was fair to her or me to confess to her while she had a boyfriend still. I resigned to texting and being friends. I still had her on my mind but I suppressed acting on anything.
I thought my luck changed though when I heard from her that she broke up with the boyfriend because he cheated on her. I talked with her about it and she said that he did it nonchalantly with one of her good friends. He didn't even care. Thinking "this is my chance" I waited a little so I wouldn't look desperate and then the day came to approach her. Then I learned that she got back together with the boyfriend that just cheated on her.
My reaction after that was more heartbreak and almost anger. At that point I said screw it, she isn't worth it. It's not worth me sticking around her while she has a boyfriend. I forced any feelings I had of her to go away and we went our separate ways. We are still friends and text and what not. But I don't think I'll ever try to ask her out again. She occasionally pops up on my mind, but definitely not to the extent of when I was crushing on her.
In conclusion (The moral of the story): I didn't act on it but tried-- multiple times, and I don't regret it. Instead I got the second place pity prize-- friendship. You can force people out of your mind with rationalizing it like saying repeatedly "She/he isn't worth it." or "I can find someone better than that." or "I'm worth more than that." Once you say it enough you force it to become truth.
Phew, that was long.0
Most Helpful Girl
It depends how the relationship ended. in my opinion my exes mostly weren't the best guys at the time when we dated. So I wouldn't take them back or reconcile maybe if I found change in them BUT If your ex is reaching out or you guys are still in a good place, go for it. IF He doesn't or isn't really interested, then move on. There are better fish out there. Forget, all you can do is forgive them for you...0