I feel bad for treating her like that because that is not who I am, I did not understand why a girlfriend of 3 years would be manipulating me and my friends, lying to me, suicidal attempts, the cheating, threatening me etc without a doubt it was a destructive relationship. but i feel bad about how it ended, i know i should have been more calm but with her everything has always been intense and even though she hurt me, i don't want to care for her anymore but i weirdly enough do.
"man I feel so fucking stupid for hurting this much over a fucker like you who had no problem making me disassociate and then complain about sex
man I can't believe I even told you cause I knew you would brush it off fuck"
i complained a few times that we don't have enough sex (she is 21 im 24), after a month went by of her rejecting me advances.
Most Helpful Girl
Ending a long relationship like 3 years is never easy. It's going to be hurtful, people are going to feel cheated and will try and lash out to protect themselves from doubt and being hurt unfairly.
I think the best thing to do is figure out what you can do to resolve anything unresolved in as fair a manner as possible. Ask someone you know who will give you an hour estate answer and won't rile you up about all of her shortcomings but can help arbitrate.
Offer a gesture of peace/goodwill like compromising on some shared item or some other genius thing-- only has to be one and with no strings or recipes attached to bring up later.
You can write her a not or message apologizing and wishing her well.
Frim there limited, non personal Conant or no contact at all. You need space and time to move on and learn to be individual people again without the other to rely on.1
Most Helpful Guy
Yea that sounds like a disaster of a breakup but you know what, you can move on now. We really have no way of understanding how other people think or why they do what they do so I try not to spend my time worrying about it. You learn from the mistakes and you carry some sort of introspection about what you possibly did wrong or what to look out for in future partners. An apology is still not a bad idea for throwing her stuff out the window but damn, I'd keep away from all that crazy after that. Sometimes we have to realize a person's toxicity will affect you more than you know.1