I got hurt and betrayed in a past relationship. Now, I'm afraid of commiting to someone who won't commit to me. What should I do to overcome this?

I met someone I really like and who really likes me too. The only thing is that I'm stuck where we're I'm at now because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I start overthinking what he does and say and I make a big deal of the slightest thing he says or does. We are not dating, but I already love the very little I know about him and I would totally date him if he asked me to be his girlfriend. We have so much in common that it's insane, almost scary! He seems to love having me around and he is constantly flirting with me. However, I suck at flirting and I don't know how to return the 'flirt'. He might think that I don't like him the way he does, while I do! I want to tell him so bad, but I'm afraid of rejection or starting dating someone who would end up hurting me again.
What should I do? I'm so confused and worried... I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sigh... I'm sorry to say that life presents no guarantees.
    What has helped me in similar situations is to try and live more "present mindedly".
    To explain, as much as we would like to we cannot erase the past... And as much as we would like to forecast the future, we cannot do that either.
    The key for me is refrain from looking back, yesterday is only but a memory in the future is only a figment of the imagination, it's a projection of an anticipated outcome...
    But the present... Ahh, this is a gift!
    The present is the only true reality there is and it is the only moment in time where you can truly experience life for what it is... Not what it was and not what it will be... If you can bring yourself to the present to enjoy the only true moment in time you have to live... You can free yourself from self created illusions and fear.
    It's really okay to love yourself enough to have mercy on yourselfyourself, to allow yourself to experience happiness in your present... it sounds like you have the potential to engage in something special with what sounds like a great guy... you would be doing yourself a great disservice by not moving forward into the here and now... to find happiness you must let go of the pains of yesterday and don't think about tomorrow... Be present minded, and you will never miss a moment of opportunity... Enjoy the ride ;)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Ask friends to do some 'research'on him, find out about previous girlfriends and what they say about him.

    There's nothing wrong in protecting yourself by these techniques, so don't hesitate.

    But at some point, you need to take the jump, and hope for the best. There are no sure fire guaranteed situations in relationships.

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