Meeting ex a good or bad thing?

My ex and I broke up nearly 3 months ago. It dragged out a bit but he wanted to stay friends and part of me always thought we'd end up back together. We have always texted every day and still do sometimes for hours at a time.

He told me this week he was with someone new who he really really likes (which broke my heart) but I did the usual 'that's nice for you' thing. Apparently he needed to tell me as he wanted to prove that he can treat a woman nicely (he wasn't that nice to me when we were together).

Anyway, I'm meeting him tomorrow and although I said just a quick drink he wants to take me out for the day to somewhere I always said I wanted to go. I'm planning on this being the last time I see him now and feel like I need to do it to say goodbye but I know it's going to be harrowing for me. Any tips on how to not completely mess myself up and how to act?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would guess that he wants something different to come from this meeting but you are right to make this your goodbye. So far, you really haven't broken up and that has probably not been good for you.

    1. Make sure that you dress in a proper fashion and not at all seductive or alluring.
    2. Meet him in a public place and do not leave that public place to go anywhere with him.
    3. You should have an agenda for what you want to say and you should practice it a few times before the meeting.
    4. Don't let him set the agenda for what you discuss.
    5. If you order a drink, it should be non-alcoholic, because alcohol will weaken your resolve.
    6. The meeting should occur during the day because there are lower expectations of romantic developments in daytime meetings.
    7. If you have any doubt about your resolve, tell a friend what you are doing and when you are meeting. If you want the meeting to last only 15 minutes, have a pre-designated time for the friend to call you so that you will be interrupted and reminded that you want to keep it brief.
    8. The meeting should occur somewhere that is well lit instead of subdued lighting.
    9. Make an index card that briefly lists the awful things he did to you and review it right before you meet him.
    10. Remember that if he is looking for something more from you, he is cheating on his current girlfriend; if you go back to him, he will eventually cheat on you, also.

    • I def like the idea of reminding myself what an a**hole he was before I meet him! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's going to end up being more 'Harrowing' if you Do go here, dear. Being wise as I am, I would just call him on the phone and tell him you feel it would be best from the rest if you Didn't go because it could get Messy and you just want to keep it lite and semi sweet from... This seat at home. Good-byes are such sweet sorrows and with Seeing him, you will... Never forget the Parting.
    You are doing the right thing with this sticky sour ball situation. I don't think this newbie he has now will last because of what he had with you in the past and he will try and come back. However, don't trust him, don't trust it. If you Do, it will always end up a Full circle pattern problem and a war of the Roses, continuously going down a badly beaten path.
    Good luck. xx

    • I'm going to meet with him because I actually like him less when I've spent time with him. It's the constant texting that makes me miss him. I've been here before but where just I decided not to contact him after I last saw him, he still kept contacting me. I'm planning on blocking all contact after tomorrow so I don't get sucked back in again.

    • If you feel your Heat will Not go on missing him, this is the thing... Okay, so perhaps the closure you need to close this chapter. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If he wasn't that nice to you, then just act like it's a business meeting and keep things polite but cool. Don't give him any sign you want him back, or you'll find yourself smack in the middle of a three way triangle.

    • No I'm definitely planning on playing it cool. No chance whatsoever of getting involved if he's with someone.

What Girls Said 3

  • Hi I've been in a similar situation . I still care deeply about this person but he never felt the same about me I was always just a lover to him. he is now getting married. he wanted to meet up with me to tell me this. it was hard it hurt but I managed to hold it together. just see it as a way of closure and ask any questions you need answers to. and leave with your head held high. go home phone a good friend and get drunk x good luck hun x

  • If it was an immature relationship, it won't be a problem. Don't worry

  • Why do you need to meet with him? He's an ex who was with someone he says he likes, plus you even said he wasn't nice to you when you were together. I think you're wasting your time.

    • Part of me wants to get a bit of closure. I actually miss him more when I haven't seen him of that makes sense. When i spend time with him I remember why we're not still together. I'm planning on blocking all contact once I leave him tomorrow so I dont get sucked into it all again.

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