The no contact rule to win an ex back - what are your opinions on this?

The no contact rule simply means not contacting your ex for at least 30 days. If you look up on the internet, everyone is talking about this! In my case, my relationship failed because my boyfriend started to need more space and time and said that he was having doubts. I'm thinking about doing this. Yes ou no?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol 30 days? I was in your position but it managed to last 8 months with the no contact rule. I knew what I was doing there would be times he would be scratching his hand constantly trying to wonder what he did. It was be cos he asked for space everytime. Am I a play station? I don't have time for games so I have him a dose of his own medicine and now he's fell for me even more.
    Anyway don't me soffffttt he'll keep doing this cos he has power over you I'm not saying go a whole 8 months without him but start talking to more boys there are tons of boys that wouldn't wanna play you like a play station

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    • During all that time, did he contact you? You just didn't answer?
      My ex sent me a message inviting me to go to beach. I told him he should not think that after all he has done I would be here sitting and waiting for him and say yes right away. After that he doesn't say anything to me for about a week.

    • Basically he tried but I always acted busy which I was I started a job part time so I wouldn't focus on my phone and everytime he would talk I would either not read it or be blunt af, he gave up 2 months into trying I was kinda saddened but I thought this is probably a sign he just ain't trying hard to get me back he might not be for me. Now I'm happier then ever! And yes let him invite you anywhere don't give him deadass straight reply and act extremely busy. And pls boys don't like girls who complain about what they did to them, rather let him figure it out. You just stay silent about what he did act like it hasn't affected you and if you feel that you wanna burst out and tell him make sure you call your friends up or sleep on it do NOT give him the power to think you've ruined him he already thinks he has power cos he is not taking your words seriously. Give. Him. Silent. Treatment. But also act so cool and calm so he thinks you're ok. I promise it works it'll get him going craz

    • Thank you so much for your advice. I think this is the right thing to do, or try at least to see if it works. Thank you and I hope everything works out in your life :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • First, it didn't fail because he wanted space. It failed because of not reconciling the reason he wanted space

    Second. Rules like "No Contact' are really a way to frame and access your situation. In some cases it will help but it's only enough to get you back to the issues that caused the breakup in the first place. I also feel it can be used as a type of manipulation. I've always made attempts at reconciliation in one form or another until it was clear that she didn't deserve my attention anymore. In other words, if she wouldn't respond for a few weeks OR would respond but we couldn't repair things.

    If I were your ex, I would think you had lost interest and moved on. Sure, maybe you would contact me in 30 days and I would still try but you could have done it much sooner. On the other hand, maybe I'm the kind of person that resent you for not responding sooner. It all really depends on how well you know your ex.

    Good luck :)

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    • It failed because he did not communicate with me. He's just a 20 year old kid after all, maybe he is learning now.
      I would love to try reconciliation but I know, deep down, that I didn't do anything wrong, everything was always ok and I was always there for him, he was the one that started to fade. I am really hurt because I feel that he disrespected our relationship and our friendship. I can't be the one contacting him. I need him to man up and pursue what he really wants.

      But I don't think he knows what he wants :\

      Thank you.

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    • We'll see what happens. It's been a week without talking to him and I am really down. I don't know if I should just move on or still believe in this relationship. Thank you for your kind words, I see your point.

    • I'm amazed you could see my point given the shear amount of typos but I'm glad you did! hahaha

      I hope you guys can work it out :)

  • The no contact rule works. However the no contact rule alone doesn't work. You have to build up the intimacy back into your relationship by not appearing as too available. After several weeks, make a suggestion to meet up. This should help bring you closer and build up the intimacy from there onwards

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  • No contact is really more about getting over them than getting them back.

    It may or may not work, it depends on so many things.

    I found it extremely helpful to get over an ex, but I never used it to get her back.

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  • Won't work. Total failure.

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    • Won't it make the guy finally realize what a douche he was to let go that girl? (for example)

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    • I understand what you are saying. But in my case, I didn't do anything wrong so I can't be the one contacting him. I feel that if he loves me, he will have to pursue me again.

    • Let me put this in terms you can understand:

      If you do not maintain some form of contact with this guy, you will not get back with him. It is just that simple.

  • You're an idiot lol. Do it all you want but if he has any self respect he won't play your stupid game.

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  • Why would you contact your ex at all? Its over, bye, move on.

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  • And who says you want him back after those 30 days?

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    • When you love someone, time doesn't actually make things better I guess.

    • Maybe I am misunderstanding you, but I you can not contact him for 30 days, the love isn't that strong to begin with.

      So you can do this ''no contact rule'' but it will actually do more damage than good in my opinion.

  • you should break up with him

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What Girls Said 2

  • No contact rule makes you and him ;forget easily.

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  • It doesn't work at all

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