I have been with my (now ex) boyfriend for 3 years in a long distance relationship. Well I met him while I was trying to go to the university in his country thought student exchange. I had really high chances of getting the scholarship and I was about to find out if I got in 3 or 4 months. During that time we dating online because we just clicked, seriously I fell in love with him after a week or so. He felt the same way so we decided to keep it going, since we both believed I'm gonna get the scholarship. The response got delayed and in the end I didn't got it. But it was too late to fall back now, so we decided that I keep trying to get it or try to find a job, so we made it official. My country is really fucked up and him coming here was out of the picture. I wanted to leave this place. So for 3 years I've been trying to find a job there, but no luck because I didn't have the experience and proper degree. He was on his Master studies there and since that country is really expensive he barely had it for himself, it wouldn't be possible for two of us to live out of his salery. I needed a job asap. He was always paying for everything since my family is poor and I was also barely getting by. Then 6 months ago I got an offer for a really good job here. I accepted it because it could give me a 2 years experience that I need for some jobs there. He finished his master studies and got into a PhD. Then it all went down. He couldn't see our future anymore and chances and time of me coming there were so slim. I knew this as well, 2 years is a long time and still a big maybe. So we agreed to break up, despite of how much we loved each other. I get it and I don't hold it against him. I love him. And he loves me too. But I know it was for the best. I just can't move on. I feel like I don't want to. I want to focus on this job and really coming there one day, I don't want to think about other guys. We talk from time to time but it's hard for both of us.
I think I will always love him. If only he was an asshole, it would be much easier, but he is exactly who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I could've wait, and I guess I can "blame" him for not wanting to wait more, but I can't really. And just the thought of him falling for someone else is killing me. I feel that even if I fall for someone else I would still love him, I would love 2 people forever. How do I deal with this?