Broke up with my boyfriend, now I regret it... What to do?

So me and my boyfriend have been going out since high school (for about 6 years). Everything was fine at first, I used to tell him about everything, he was like a best friend to me, and he seemed so caring and sweet at first. Now everything has seemed to go down hill within the past few months. I became pregnant with our first child a few months ago, and I told him about it and he was fine at first. Now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, always assuming that the baby is not his, always criticizing me on my looks, and also complaining that I don't talk to him enough when I actually do try. About two months ago, we got into a heated argument that turned into a fight, and I ended up calling the police on him. He was arrested and thrown in jail for a day, but they later dropped the charges against him. I broke up with him after that, but then we were back together about two days later. However, after that incident, he stopped calling and texting me on a daily basis.. He now calls like every week. Also, whenever we meet up, it's only on the weekends, and sometimes he seems troubled, but then sometimes he seems happy to see me. I figured he was not interested in me anymore, and/or he's cheating. I got sick of him not calling me like how he used to, so I sent him a long text saying how I was sick of him and completely done with him this time and told him not to contact me ever again because I have moved on. Usually, whenever I broke up with him in the past, he'd come running back, but this time, I received no text message, no calls, no anything from him. And it's been about 4 days since I broke up with him now. He always told me no matter how bad the situation may get or how bad we end up, we would always find a way back to each other because he truly loved me and that there is nobody else for him but me, but now I'm starting to doubt his words. I don't know what to do... Do you think it's over, or do we still have a chance at working things out if i give him some space?


Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion, the reality is that he isn't ready to be a dad, and, frankly, he realizes that he can walk away and there isn't much you can do. He resents you for getting pregnant and "trapping" him into a huge, long-lasting responsibility that he wasn't ready for, and it is severely affecting your relationship.

    Essentially, your relationship has likely run its course, but as happens with a chunk of people, they get "comfortable" being in a relationship with someone that they refuse to acknowledge that it's run its course and that they need to move on - UNTIL something big comes along and forces the issue.

    If he's been with you since high school, he's still very young, but he's also never had a chance to "sow his wild oats" and date around and "have fun" - and now that he's faced with that door slamming shut on him for good, he realizes exactly what he'd be giving up in order to parent a child with you, and he is filled with regret - it's not what he wants for his life right now.

    There really isn't a lot you can do about it at this point - you are already pregnant, and unless you get an abortion (which I'm not recommending), then you're going to have some very tough decisions ahead of you. But I wouldn't count on "getting him back" - I doubt he's willing to stay, even if he is too afraid to tell you the truth.

    This is the risk of getting pregnant with a guy who lacks both the enthusiastic desire for having children NOW and the resources to take care of them. Girls, if you're reading this, learn this lesson well!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would give him space, and know there are a few red flags here. When men constantly accuse you of cheating on top of criticizing your looks most likely it's masked guilt for something they did. Many cheaters like to constantly point the finger whether it was an emotional affair or a physical one. They are so guilty and convince themselves "well if I could do it what is stopping them?" He probably has a lot to think about and putting yourself out there time and time again is only going to hurt more when it isn't reccripricated. Tell him you want to give him space but emphasize that you need to have a mature and important conversation soon where everything gets laid out on the table. When the time comes try to remain calm, and try not to get defensive or accusatonal. Remind him that you two are having a child together and whether he likes it or not you will be in one another's lives for the next 18 years, and you'd like them to be easy rather than harder.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You are pregnant with his kid. It is likely you'll hear from him at some point. Do not be surprised if he tries to get out of trying to support the child. You told him to get lost, he might just try to get lost.


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