We broke up last month... But it still hurts?

I usually get over anything quickly. Death, break ups, the likes. But I recently went through a break up, and I'm super strung up about it. I loved this boy; he was my everything. The way his eyes compliment the pale ocean shore, they way his hair complimented the scatter of sand and the way his voice complimented the light breeze that forces you into soothing relaxation... The way his arms wrapped gently around me when I needed it, like the warmth of the afternoon... Everyday I spent with him was like that of a sunny afternoon down by the shoreline.

I always tried to give him what he wanted. I bloody well worshipped him. Any means of affection he gave me, I was sure to return with complementary endearment.

I loved him...

He went on holiday for awhile, in Florida, and when he returned, he began ignoring me. I continued on, though, texting and ringing, in hopes of a response. Some would say I smothered him, but truly all I wanted to know was if he was alright. Rarely, would I get a reply.

Plans were made, and I had to skip a week's worth of rehearsal everyday we made plans, because he would cancel last minute. My director was patient enough to allow it.

The distance became unnerving. I longed for him.

Unfortunately, he wasn't longing for me.

Through a mutual friend, I was told, "Please don't tell him I told you this, but he says he's been wanting to break up, but he doesn't want to hurt you."

So, after an hour's worth of contemplation and sobbing, I rang him. I told him it was over. He had the audacity to reply with, "It's been over for awhile now, Dusty."

I don't think he understands. Whenever I said, "I love you," I meant it; ergo, whenever he said those three words back, I took him literally. Whenever he supported me with my family situation, I assumed he actually cared. Whenever he bought me anything, I assumed he did it out of heart.

I assume I was wrong, but I don't understand. Why am I still in love? He wasn't like this until he returned from his holiday; prior, he was the complete opposite. I mainly just require closure, as I never did anything wrong in the relationship, and he never gave me a reason as of why he wanted it to end.

Now, he is avoiding his friends, according to the same mutual.

It doesn't make any sense.

I just want to know if this is hurting him the very same way it is killing me.

Updates:
And yes, I have tried talking to him about this. I have tried messaging him and asking how he has been, and I have been fighting, still, to speak with him. He seems to be on no-speaking terms.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in the EXACT same boat as you omg. It's been a month since my ex and I broke up as well, and I still love him too.

    All I can say is, let the pain pass you. Go through the emotions and heartache they are necessary. I'm still learning every day. I think about him 24/7 but it hurts less I PROMISE you that. These feelings you are feeling are necessary, and you can't think logically right now because of all these emotions. Which is okay. Because they will pass - not saying you will stop caring about him, but the hurt won't be as 'extreme' anymore. When that's the case, really evaluate the relationship.

    The hardest part is accepting it. Gosh its so hard to accept that the person that claimed to once love you, doesn't feel the same. And how it could end so quick, and how possibly he stopped caring. You need some time first to sort out your emotions, then make a list of questions you want to ask him, then ask him kindly if he could have one last conversation with you so you can get some answers and closure.

    That's what I did. I don't think it worked 100% but I learned what was going through his head and hey, it turned out I was more in love with him than he was. Which sucks. I'm trying to swallow it just like you. Hang on, we are in it together!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah the emotional pain does linger and sorry about that with you
    i hope things get better for you :D :P

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  • See brokeup is like a wound it will take time to heal... just take care of youeself

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  • there is nothing to worry about... just concentrate on ur work... evrythng will b fine...

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  • what hurts? ;)

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What Girls Said 3

  • He cheated. There was another girl in 'Florida' that he is gladly banging while you're having a nervous breakdown over some loser guy who never gave a crap about you. Please, do yourself a favor and move on. Let's be honest, the only reason why it still hurts you is because of the rejection aspect. Had you rejected him, you wouldn't be this hurt about it. Your ego is damaged after he played you and you cannot take it. Now let's pretend that he died, maybe you'll get over him faster :-) by the way, you should be a writer.

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  • I know exactly whag your going through. And I am so very sorry that you are going through this too. Maybe do this send him a friendly text just say hi, was wondering how you are...

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    • I've tried that... He won't respond to anything.

    • Sorry to hear maybe just let it be and let him contact you. As I am sorry to say this as it may be time move on. But on the other hand he could be busy, as its hard to say. I am sorry.

  • They say to get over a breakup it takes an average of 14 months.

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