Why do people lie in relationships?

My boyfriend broke up with me and I was completely shocked! I had no idea he was feeling this way. He instigated all of our phone calls/texts. He always told me how much he loved me and how perfect I was. He was the one who pursued me all along for 8 months! He told me he was deeply in love with me earlier on the day he broke up. What would make someone constantly say those things if he wanted to break up? I just don't understand what happened. I haven't talked to him in 3 weeks. He just disappeared!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like this is my exact situation with my girlfriend of 7 months, I always tell her how much I love her and lately I've been more involved and clingy to her, but now I feel like I might just break up with her today, I don't know what it is, my reason might be that I'm just scared to be in such a committed relationship this early in life, it seems like it's just gonna end in heartbreak, people barely make it far past highschool anyways..

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    • Oh why would you do that? Why break her heart and yours? Why not just enjoy yourselves until it fades away on its own? Please don't break up. It makes me so sad that guys think this way. I wonder if that's how my ex felt. It just didn't make any sense for him to break up. He gave me all kinds of stupid excuses and it really hurts. Just talk to you girlfriend and be honest. It's so much better. I would rather have known there was someone else than be left in the dark trying to figure out what happened. Dishonesty is so much more painful than the truth.

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    • But you don't know that and you are trying to control your future based on something that may never happen. Just try to let things happen naturally, the way they are meant to happen. You will probably regret breaking up with her if she means that much to you. Better to live and love than to wonder what might have been. If you two aren't meant to be then your relationship will fade away. Don't force it to!

    • Also what grade are you in?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes kind of sad if you think about it to do that to you , he should of gave you some reason why he was breaking it off ,,, I agree he shouldn't of lied to you i think
    you deserve much better ,

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  • He was never committed simple he wants to move on. He knows ur not what he wants let him be. I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO MOVE ON AND LEAVE HIM ALONE AND DON'T GO BACK WITH HIM EVERRRRR!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Im sorry to hear that. He is harsh to do that. I am assuming he is interested in someone else or he just needs time. But I will gauratee you this, if you feel you treated him good, he will contact you again in the future. They always do. Do not call or text him or show that you are hurt, even if you are shattered inside. You make it appear as though you are perfectly fine without him. Now take care of yourself, go shopping, running, watch netflix. Get your hair done or something. Make you feel good. And guess what, there are sweet and committed men out there. In 5 months, if he hasn't tried to contact you, you will be thinking "im okay, and there are other cuties out there." Take care. I learned from experience

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    • Thank you! I have been trying so hard to move on. I met a wonderful and very attractive sweet guy about 1-1/2 weeks ago and he seemed very interested. We went out 4 times but I don't feel the connection (obviously, I know, I just met him). I think he figured out I'm not that into him bc he hasn't texted me much today. Maybe he's not that into me. My ex knows I've been seeing other guys bc they've been on my snapchat stories but I guess he doesn't even care. It's just so sad that he just quit on us and didn't even give me a real reason. I was so distracted after the breakup with friends and now things are slowing down. I'm just so sad :,(

  • He clearly does not know what love is. He is a selfish liar. And coward, since he does not have the guts to talk to you in person. Maybe he found someone else? Don't talk to him for 3 more weeks. Then 3 more weeks. Then 3 more weeks. Until he will be out of your mind and you will have someone much better by your side.

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    • Thank you. Your probably right. He is quite a coward. I just wish he had the balls enough to tell me the truth.

    • I apologize if I sounded harsh. But I have been there, and it was painful! My ex of two years broke up with me by text with a bunch of lies and left me with a lot of unanswered questions. Shortly after I discovered he was sharing our house with a coworker!
      I hope he will have the courage to give you some explanations, but don't expect it.

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