Would you date someone with Borderline Personality Disorder if?

Would you consider it worth staying iif the person is vehemently against getting therapy and thinks that you want him/her to be sick? I'm trying to be strong because I love her (we're both adults who've been dating a year and a half), but I've been crying a lot over it recently.
I think I'm breaking up either way, but I'd like someone else's insight.
I do realize this may seem like a a question with an obvious answer.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a really tough situation, and (sorry) there is no obvious answer. It seriously depends on whether You are strong enough, and in love enough, to deal with it. No offense meant whatsoever - but you sound a little codependent on her yourself? Maybe you could talk her into some joint counseling to start with and see if she might move forward from there with some personal counseling for herself? I'm guessing you would not have bothered asking the question if you were already intent on taking off down the road. Be careful, and do whatever you can to get BOTH of you help if you really love and want to be with her. Wish you the best.

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What Girls Said 3

  • No, not if they refused therapy.

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  • I don't think I could deal with what you've described. A person needs to be comfortable and happy with themselves before they can date and it sounds like you're not all together. I don't think a relationship is what you need right now.

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  • That depends, is this something you've come up with or an official diagnosis and recommendation for therapy?

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What Guys Said 3

  • No. It's a very bad idea for anyone to do that unless the person is, at the very least, functional and stable and not prone to meltdowns. Outside of that, there is absolutely no chance I would ever suggest even considering it. They are, singularly, some of the very worst people to have any sort of relations with.

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    • I mean she *seems* stable in most aspects of her life, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships can be very judgmental and cold. Recently she's seemed to become comfortable with disregarding my emotions and telling me I'm being unreasonable for wanting support.

    • @asker That won't change. With that disorder she simply has no concept of any feelings outside her own and even those (her own) are treated as meaningless outside of "needs". There is absolutely not a single thing you, or any person, can do once that disorder sets in (usually is either learned based on outside stimuli). Personally I would put it in the form of an ultimatum as that is, typically, the only language they understand and gauge her response. If she still remains disassociated then move on. Every person has ran into one of them one time or another and they never... ever... end well.

  • Yes the question has an obvious answer leave.

    First off, You are 23, not an adult in that you have not experienced enough relationships, or borderline personality disorder for years of a marriage. Plus, If you are already emotionally sad and vulnerable it will only get much worse... Do yourself a favor and leave. Find a healthy girl that can make you feel good always not sometimes.

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  • Fuck, no there a lot of woman out there bro what's wrong with you. But hey if it's a calling it's all on you. And also see what ur friends say. Pay attention to there advise, they know what's best for you buddy.

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