How to hold on?

I am on my 15th day of 30 days no contact. Its killing me. I just want to contact him cause I have no clue how he feels. How to hold on? I really dont want to break it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's great. As painful as it's been for you, how about you try this. One day at a time. Go one day without contacting him, and when you wake up the next day, all you have to worry about is going one day with no contact. You start over each new day and only worry about getting through the next 24 hrs.

    Soon, you'll stop yourself and think "Wow, I forgot to reset my vow of no contact for a day" because you will begin the process of really moving on, where you'll care less about contacting him to the point the daily exercise won't even be necessary.

    Keep up the good work. Moving on is hard, and trying to reconcile something that probably is best left in the past sounds like the easiest path, but that ends up making the process of getting over him that much harder.

    Good luck!

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    • Well we are on day 15.

      Moving on? I AM NOT MOVING ON.

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    • Of course it will right now, and for a while longer. But trust me on this. I've been where you are, and there will come a day you will be very glad you are with someone who doesn't hurt you like your ex did.

    • I seee I chose the wrong MH! STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO MOVE ON. ITS NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • watch movies go swimming gym
    masturbate...
    there are plenty of things you just have to focus your mind on one except him

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What Girls Said 4

  • Hey,

    I'm in the same boat as you. I'm trying the no contact rule and I don't want to move on. Not too sure the whole story of your break up, but I feel personally mine wasn't fair and was totally out of the blue.

    I'm only on day 3 and I want to cave in so badly and ask how he is, but I'm trying, I'm really trying. The fact that you've come this far is amazing. A lot of people would most probably have sent a text by now.

    Just keep doing what you're doing, hopefully in the next 15 days you'll be prepared for any outcome. I wish you luck and please report back on how it went? I'm curious!

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    • I did up to day fifty then contacted him. We had a good conversation,. It went well.

    • Hold on no matter what. Message me if you need to.

    • Could you message me?

  • Throw your phone away or give it to your best freind and tell her not to give it to you until you want it back. (Set a date on when you want it back)

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  • Why would you hold on?

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    • Cause I neeed to do this.

    • It might be hard to move on, I know that :/
      But it doesn't mean that you can't have contact with them anymore, if you can end it on good terms, you can still stay friends

  • Sounds like you don't need 30 days, so why does he? Contact him, and if he's still talking about needing more time then it may already be broken. Relationships don't have breaks, you work through the hard stuff, and if you can't do it you leave it alone. Stuff like this complicates everything.

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    • I do need it. You are wrong.

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