I have started the breakup process with my girlfriend, but still have mixed feelings?

So after obsessing over it for a few days, I have started the breakup process with my girlfriend of a little less than 2 years. What I mean by that is that I talked to her and told her how I feel. After we determined that the problem is unfixable, she said that she will give me a couple of days to decide whether or not we should end the relationship. By "problem" I mean that I no longer feel attracted to her, but I still love her. We don't feel the same way about each other (and probably never did). I no longer get butterflies, but she does. This problem randomly hit me a few days ago, and after I thought about it, I realized that something has been missing for a while now. Now that I am at the brink of terminating a successful and strong 2 year relationship, I am hesitating. I know that it will make things worse if we go on like this, but I still love her. But I know that love itself isn't enough. I know that breaking up is what I want, but I'm hesitating. I'm still very young and this was my first real relationship, but I do not know if I will find anyone as good as her in the future. What should I do?


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  • I have experienced the same thing & I know exactly how you feel :) I just got out of a relationship that lasted a year & although it took a long time to realize that I my feelings towards him changed, I knew I made the right decision. It will only become more painful the longer you wait & I think you know in your heart what you want/need to do. What you are feeling is completely normal and understandable. She obviously means a lot to you if you've been dating that long & you're scared of losing her because people sometimes drift apart after a breakup. But she deserves to find someone who has real feelings for her & if you guys are meant to be then you'll find your way back to each other :) You did the right thing by being honest with her & you need to set her free because it sounds like she's your safety net in case you don't find anyone else you connect with on that level (which isn't fair to her) :) I hope I was able to help and wish you all the best! :)

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    • Thank you so much for the advice. I have made up my mind that I am going to go through with it. We had an amazing 2 years, and I know for certain that we will still be friends because she understands. I've been lying to myself to the point that I actually convinced myself that she was perfect for me, when in reality we have had different feelings.

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    • Just an update: As soon as I broke up with her, I knew that I had seriously screwed up. I know that this is what I was trying to aviod, but I could just tell that I was probably throwing "the one" to the curb over some strange feeling that I have had for 2 days. After 20 minutes I could no longer bear it, and I called her. We have made up (I still feel terrible though for doing this to her) and we are going on a date in a few days. I guess this is what happens when you mistake the transition from the "honeymoon" phase for a loss of attraction. I actually feel a revival of attraction to her now!

    • So glad to hear that!! :) You should do whatever makes you happy & sorry if my advice was a little misleading. In time she'll forgive you & just try your best to make it up to her by being a great boyfriend. I know you can do it! :)

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