My ex boyfriend is confusing me. How do I handle this?

First off, let me say that he was my first love and I know this will affect how I see him and I’ll never be totally over him, but I’m trying really hard not to read into things. I’m doing my best to just ignore things because though I would love to date him, but I know he won’t, and am okay with being only friends.

We broke up a little under a year ago. I broke up with him, but because he was losing feelings for me and it was obviously, seriously affecting our relationship. Apparently, he couldn't see our relationship lasting and was having second thoughts. A couple months later, we started hanging out as friends again (we go to the same small college so I see a lot of him). I had told him earlier that I still liked him and tried to push him away, but he said he didn't care if I liked him and…nothing changed.

There was longer history of weird behavior: telling me how attractive I was, being protective, trying to be friends but being weird when I tried to wave or something. I started wondering if he liked me and I straight up asked him, and he said no. We had sort of off and on communication and started dating other people. I am single now, but he is dating his former “best friend” now.

Now I'm better friends with some of our mutual friends, his frat brothers, and I've been going over there on the weekends, and he's back to his old behavior but stronger. My method of dealing with it is ignoring it, which has been working I think. At a cast party, he was nice and friendly, then playfully whispered into my ear "Your breasts look amazing." I just said thanks and wandered off. Mostly it’s been casual and nice, but last weekend he started hanging around me more and making sexual jokes about me eating a candy cane, to which I responded with playfully biting off the candy cane…it was hilarious. He stayed close to me, kept telling me how attractive I was and got me to give him a scalp massage. That wouldn’t seem like a lot, but I’ve hardly touched him since we broke up and the head massage was always an affectionate, intimate thing for us when we dated. Even my friend, who is always trying to keep me realistic, was confused. Plus he has a girlfriend! Again, I just ignored it. Then this weekend, he was friendly but would never stay around me for long. And when I said I was interning at an archeological dig near in his hometown, he said “Yeah, that’s like 5 minutes from my house,” rolled his eyes, and left. But at the same time, stared at my body while I was dancing and at my face while I was singing. Also, I try to wave at him when I see him or something and he just acts weird.

My most logical conclusion is that he thinks I’m after him and is annoyed, but physically attracted. However, that conclusion doesn’t sit well with his persistent attempts at friendship…And I can’t forget about the head rubbing thing, which was definitely “our thing.” He just can never be normal, but I’m going to be spending a lot of time around him now. Help?


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  • Don't bother with him


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