Can you talk about your current relationship with your ex?

Assuming you and your ex still want to be friends and he/she is a decent person, will you ever share things about your new relationship with them? Or is it too awkward?


0|0
44

Most Helpful Guy

  • Why would you ever want to be friends with our ex? I understand that there was some friendship there as well as the romance/sex, but there are a few problems with this arrangement.

    1. Quite often, after a breakup, the person who does the breaking up will offer "let's be friends" as a way of letting you down slowly but they really don't want to be friends.

    2. Quite often, after a breakup, the person who was on the receiving end of the breaking up will jump at the offer because they think, eventually, their partner will realize what a tragic mistake they made. They will keep their desire secret because they know that if it is revealed, you will back away from the friendship. Still, that desire will color everything that they say and do in the "friendship."

    3. If you move on and get into a new relationship, how will your new partner feel about you being "friends" with your ex? They will question whether it is just a friendship and will perpetually be suspicious/jealous. And if you hide this friendship from your new partner, you are beginning your new relationship with dishonesty. That new relationship is doomed!

    1|0
    0|0
    • Because for some people lovers aren't simply people they're intimate with, they're also friends and confidants. After the break up everything is messed up, but after a while maybe they still value the people they used to date and still want them to be their friends. Because they were friends before and while they were lovers, and they hope to keep that part.

      Actually, I once did encourage a boyfriend to maintain friendship with his ex. As long as there is no romance and sex involved, I don't mind. She was once a part of him, and I know I couldn't just ask someone to pretend things didn't exist or ignore someone who is good to him, just because I feel jealous.

    • I understand that lovers are not just sexual partners. My point is that many (but certainly not all) people cannot set aside their sexual desire for another person after a breakup. And, most (but certainly not all) new partners will be jealous and suspicious of a friendship with an ex.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you Want to remain on good terms and 'Still want to be friends' till the end, at least for now, @LouiePaathurnax, then it is Best with Silence is golden so you can Continue and not leave a sour ball rolling around eventually in 'He/she's' mouth.
    As wise as owl I am, being you both used to be two birds of a feather, it Might be wise to just let sleeping dogs lie and not cause them to wake up and start barking up a Tree... Suddenly out of the clear blue sky.
    Continue what you have going and flowing and don't put your Nice Relationship you have now with your "EX" in the dog house by making He/She all tongue tied.
    Good luck. xx

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I would think too awkward

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'd never stay friends with an ex. May they die slow and horrible.

    0|0
    0|0
  • One, I wouldn't maintain a friendship with an ex. Only losers keep exes around.

    Two, talking about a relationship with an ex is really low-class behavior. Seriously.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Because for some people lovers aren't simply people they're intimate with, they're also friends and confidants. After the break up everything is messed up, but after a while maybe they still value the people they used to date and still want them to be their friends. Because they were friends before and while they were lovers, and they hope to keep that part. They're not losers.

What Girls Said 3

  • I have a good relation with my ex but thats bcz the break up was recent and i secretly want him back if i wouldn't want him we would never still be talking.. but anyways being frnds with ur ex although it could be challenging for ur new boyfriend , if he undrestands where that come from it won't be a problem..

    0|0
    0|0
  • I ghink it will not be awkward at all

    0|0
    0|0
  • I only have one guy friend that I dated for a bit, but we both realized we weren't feeling any romantic connection so we are just friends. He talked to me about this woman he met, and it was a bit awkward at first, but it's fine really. I don't want explicit details about things, but if he brings her up in conversation "Oh, Jane bought me this.." or something, that's totally fine with me. I just don't want intimate details ha.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...