I am married and attracted to other males?

We just got married in January I left for basic in February we were only together a few months before we decided to get married and now we are about to move in together and I realized I am too young he's way older with 2 kids and this was a really bad mistake. I told him this and he basically is just like oh well I love you and we are already married so we should just work it out and he won't let go like I don't know how he fell so hard but I'm way too young and I want to date other people and he won't let go and I don't want this to go any longer and hurt him anymore than i already have how do I end this? I'm 20 and he is turning 29


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is there someone you're close with you can talk to about it? I'm sorry for your situation, but I think it's good you have recognized your true feelings and are wanting to act out on them, rather than assume you're locking into something you realized you do not want to be in.

    As you mentioned, in the long run, this will be best for both of you, as it will give your husband a chance to meet someone else and carry on with his life.

    All you can do is continue to be honest with him and insist you have had a change of heart and feel that leaving is for the best. I'd recommend you speak with someone familiar with the laws in your state regarding divorce, so he or she can give you some helpful advice as to what your options are if he is refusing to divorce you.

    Ultimately, he cannot force you to stay with him, and if it's financially feasible for you to live on your own, then you should do so.

    We all make mistake, and recognizing them can be really tough. I'm not encouraging you to go get a divorce if you happen to be pissed at your husband for not cleaning the lint out of the dryer, but it seems to me you have put a lot of thought into this and realize it's not an easy decision, and if you're not happy and feel you won't be happy in the future with this man, then you have to make the best decision for you, which will end up being good for him, too. I know I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me, because I know that person would end up resenting me and we would both end up being very unhappy.

    I wish you all the best.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is the thing I don't like. Taking marriage as dating. It has more value than that.
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    Express your thoughts directly and be firm with it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • you really acted off of impulse on this one lol. i mean im assuming you did because you got married so quick at such a young age.

    well you two are legally married now, a judge would most likely order you two to try and work it out as well if you attempted to split up since its way too damn early.

    i think you're kinda fucked here.

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  • Depending on where you are and the laws in that area, you could possibly still get an annulment. I do have to agree with some other comments - you seriously should Not have jumped in that soon, especially given the situation, if you were not absolutely sure. (IF by some chance you have re-thought all of this and decided you are where you want to be for the rest of your life-then please don't read anymore). Yes, at some point in Everyone's life - they will probably find that they are attracted to someone else (other than the person they are with/married to/etc...) (Just saying - that attraction (ASSUMING you do Not ACT on that attraction) is Not a good reason for divorce/separation...). Considering that there are children involved, if you are sure that this is a relationship that you do not want to spend the rest of your life in - then you Really need to figure out a way to end it as quickly and as surely as possible. IMHO, although it will hurt him (if he is in love with you), and it may hurt you - to hurt him... you just need to flat out tell him you made a mistake and it is over. Do not drag it out, do not drag it on, just finish it - get on with your life and let him get on with his. And if there is any doubt for either of you - then take it down to the kids level... its better for them now than 5 years later when the whole world falls apart because you and he can't stand to be together anymore. Wish you the best of luck.

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  • are you for real? you married a guy that is 10 years older has kids and you only know each other for a few month? this is not your every day stupid... this is advanced stupid.

    by the way you will allways be "attracted" to other people. might as well divoce and marry the next dude after a few months.

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  • Don't work it out just divorce your way too young and two months is hardly a courtship at all.

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  • Move out and file for divorce

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  • So how the hell did you not know you were to young lol

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  • Hey, you married him. Remember that. You should have thought about all of this before you said "I do". You married a guy after three months. What the hell were you thinking?

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  • I think of act in haste repent at your leisure

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  • Well... that sounds like a pickle you put yourself in...

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