Most Helpful Guy
Is there someone you're close with you can talk to about it? I'm sorry for your situation, but I think it's good you have recognized your true feelings and are wanting to act out on them, rather than assume you're locking into something you realized you do not want to be in.
As you mentioned, in the long run, this will be best for both of you, as it will give your husband a chance to meet someone else and carry on with his life.
All you can do is continue to be honest with him and insist you have had a change of heart and feel that leaving is for the best. I'd recommend you speak with someone familiar with the laws in your state regarding divorce, so he or she can give you some helpful advice as to what your options are if he is refusing to divorce you.
Ultimately, he cannot force you to stay with him, and if it's financially feasible for you to live on your own, then you should do so.
We all make mistake, and recognizing them can be really tough. I'm not encouraging you to go get a divorce if you happen to be pissed at your husband for not cleaning the lint out of the dryer, but it seems to me you have put a lot of thought into this and realize it's not an easy decision, and if you're not happy and feel you won't be happy in the future with this man, then you have to make the best decision for you, which will end up being good for him, too. I know I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me, because I know that person would end up resenting me and we would both end up being very unhappy.
I wish you all the best.
Most Helpful Girl
This is the thing I don't like. Taking marriage as dating. It has more value than that.
Express your thoughts directly and be firm with it.