Sister's husband cheated on her with hookers?

So my sister just got married just iver two months ago. They have been together for four years. Just before the wedding, my sister discovered her soon to be husband was sexting her bridesmaid, and then also realized they had been spending a lot of time together alone at her house, even though he is not as close with her. He confessed he had been sexting but never had sex, the brides maid said the same and apologized, they are still friends for some stupid reason. My sister was angered, telling her cousin who was another bridesmaid. Our cousin told her not to marry him, but she didn't listen to her. Our cousin dropped out of the wedding and she didn't even attend it. Everyone was furious, except me. I knew our cousinmeant good. A month later, my sister discovers he was feeling other womens thighs around HER and being very touchy and flirty, so she said she wanted to leave. Her apologized and took her out of town to an awesome amusment park. Then a month later she discovers he was doing this stuff again and even found out more information that he was actually cheating and doing worse things so he kicked her out, then asked her to come back one day later and promised he would stop. Less than aweek later, she discovers more texts on his phone with hookers, and she learned that he paid hookers $180 that week to sexually please him. This was not even a week after. She went and asked him about it infront of his family, who were disapointed in him. She left on her own and is now talking to other guys as a way of coping with it. She keeps calling him her ex husband and canceled their couples bank account.

Do you believe they are done forever? Will they need to divorce? Why do you think he cheated so many times, even days after he apologized for what he had done? He said since she always gets attention from other guys this was his way of getting attention. Do you think that is true? I think thats a pretty sad excuse. It is called, get attention from one another dont ruin a relationship by goig around with other people. They both are attention seekers and immature and it is terrible.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She should absolutley divorce him, he broke her trust multiple times, it won't change obviously. I don't know why he would do that but it was a scummy thing to do. However she should not be contacting other guys. Not until the divorce is finalized since it could be used against her, and its not really right to use those guys that way. So yeah tell her to reign it in until after the divorce that way she can't get screwed in the process.

    • Exactly. He did this for the entire relationship, with five separate hookers. She doesn't trust him at all now. She hangs out with guys, which I don't find right for either of them. But, now she is just hanging out as friends and not for their attention, which is better. Thank you for your opinion!

    • not a problem, sorry I had to give it for such a terrible situation.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Sounds like a girl buddy of mine. They had just moved in together and 2 months later, she finds texts on his phone from 7 prostitutes. He had been doing that before they started dating, and continued to do so, even when there was free poon at home. She stayed with him (it's been 5 months now), but every day she wakes up, she questions why she's with him. It won't last long, and I'm waiting for the day the relationship explodes so that she can find someone that loves her.

    As for your sister, the relationship is done. Even if they stay together for awhile, they'll never trust each other and it will only lead to more resentment.

    I wouldn't blame his behavior a result of just "being a guy". Women do this kind of stuff too. It has nothing to do with gender. It has to do with how certain people can justify their actions when screwing over other people. The husband has a sense of entitlement, thinking that he is justified in sleeping with other women when he is married. The same behavior applies to people who rape others, or people who rob/steal from others. Basically, if it benefits themselves, they think it's ok to harm others.

    This personality trait is inherent to the person, and once they are an adult, they are extremely unlikely to change. It's like asking a straight man to become gay. Or asking a young person to fall in love with a 90-year old person. It just ain't gonna happen.

    • Wow, that relates to us so much. My sisters husband cheated with 5 different escorts. She seems like she moved on, and she is actually surprised how much she doesn't care which is surprising. She said she feels free now, because he wouldn't let her talk to any friends or go out. And exactly, both men and women do it, it is sad. I find it so terrible, everyone trusted him for four years almost five and this is discovered. He would say he was going to work and then actually met up with the escorts.
      My sister said she could have got a disease from him and he said "yea but you didn't."

  • Because he is an asshole.. Who likes to cheat... he is pure cheater!!!

    Cheaters cheat because they love to cheat... And also he never loved your SIS at the first place...

    By the way what's his age?

    • I can't believe it, we all thought he was so kind. You never would expect him to do that. We discovered he blocked all of her friends off her phone and now after two days of being away from him she has run into about ten of themthat she hhasn't seen since forever. He is 22 I think, my sister being 21

    • Well even at this she people see immature... It's not a age to marry someone...

    • Yea I thought so too. They were gonna wait five years for the marriage, then two, then they pushed it to one year from the day they were engaged. I wish I could seehim one more time so I could slap him across he face.

      Why do people choose to be stupid

  • Once a cheater always a cheater. i dont see a relationship there so i think she should get a divorce... next question: i think its not true (what he said ) and that is nonsense

    • I say the same. I feel so bad because his real dad ( he has a step dad who is so rude we don't even bother withhim) was counting down the days I until their wedding and loves our family and my sister, he is so disappointed in his son.

      Now that I think of it, the dad used to have an addiction to alcohol a few years ago. Maybe his son picked up on the habit and was influenced by it? Still unforgivable, but it could tie into why he cheated.

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    • I wish my sister opened her eyes, I wish I did too. I didn't even see it coming to this sadly.

      And thank you very much, that means a lot.

    • my pleasure :)

  • Lol this is why marriage is sooo scary. How do you trust somebody completely. But this was honestly a fun question to read, you just made my night. So thank you for that.

    • Yea now I don't want to trust anyone. She wasn't the only one who trusted him completely, I did and my family did. Now I don't think that true real love can exist and if it does than it is like catching lightning in a bottle. I don't want to date anymore in case that ever happens to me.

      And no problem lol, just another exciting episode of the soap opera that is my life.

  • he can't keep it in his pants

    • Pretty stupid of him considering his whole family and my family know now

  • Tl;Dr but yeah that shit can't last much longer

    • I wish he never cheated, now it will cause so much pain for all of us. She is now living with us, and she is shaking all the time and not eating, which is bad because she is already 87 pounds, thirdly less than me and I have three inches shorter

    • Something that I had to teach myself pretty recently: everyone is self serving/ self interested/ selfish to some degree.

    • I wish it didn't have to be that way

What Girls Said 3

  • She did the right thing.

    I don't think they can recover from this.
    He's not mentally mature for marriage or a committed relationship in general.

    People cheat for different reasons.
    His reason is because he's not ready to give up the lifestyle of seeing other women.

    • We discovered he had anger management, his father had an addiction to alcohol until he finally quit altogether years ago, and now he is starting to drink more. I can't believe he went through all of this time for nothing.

    • Wow horrible !

  • It's your sister's fault. If a guy is sexting another girl on his wedding day, it's obvious he is not husband material. If your sister couldn't realize this on her wedding day and married him despite all the red flags, now she has to find out for herself the hard way...

    • It isn't her fault he cheated, but it is both their faults that they continued the marriage. She told my cousin that her mistakes will be her mistakes if she does go into this marriage and she can't control her. I wish my sister listened to our cousin, I wish my family listened. I was the only one who agreed with my cousin, everyone else was angry with her and never wanted to speak to her again. Sun drama.

    • It's not your sister's fault he cheated, it's her fault she married him and let him become her husband. She could have easily walked away that day. But now it's a hassle...

  • Your last sentence sums it up.

    • Pretty much. And it sucks because she tried to make it work two times and the last time she just gave up. Apparently she made out with a guy at a party once so he got angry, but I'm not sure if it was before or after she knew he cheated. Even so, she is attention seeking too and shouldn't have done that, even if it was revenge.

    • Show All
    • Definitely. My mom is saying "well your sister didn't go as far as he did." But still, she cheated. Sure, only once (from what we know) but cheated. This is what her husband said though, which could also be a lie, but. I could see my sister doing that. Sure her husband did worse, but they are both immature and shouldn't have married so young

    • Nothing wrong with marrying young if they know what marriage is.

      But you are right with the other points. Haha, let's not bash them anymore.

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