Found out Boyfriend was sexting with his ex, forgive or walk away?

We were in an exclusive relationship, we are in our 40's. He seemed like a great man, did everything he could for me, had my back in all situations, seemed like he could be the one. There were absolutely no signs anything was wrong or he couldn't be trusted. Then out of the blue on a Wed. night I get a FB PM from his ex with screen shots of text messages they had been having for several weeks. They ranged from Miss you, to quite graphic sexts. No pictures, just words. I promptly broke up with him because #1 I do not trust him at all now and #2 I am not 100% sure if he physically cheated or it was just texts. He swears it was just texts and he says he has no clue why he did it, says he is not in love with her and has tried every since the break up to get me back, even showing texts between those two where she is obviously the one who is chasing him and wanting to get back together. She admitted she did it because she was jealous and wants him back. He said if he wanted her, he would be with her and not fighting to get me back so hard. I am confused. I truly liked him, was falling in love with him, yet I cannot get the texts out of my head. If he cared for me so much--WHY did he text her at all let alone sext her? What do you all think? Can you forgive and forget or just move on? Right now I am in no contact and told him I am done, but my heart is saying otherwise.

Updates:
*They were together 6 years on and off, not together for the 2 1/2 however they have slept together since their break up. But not since last year he stated.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortionately, I am am one of these people who believe in the phrase once a cheat always a cheat. I don't think from what you've shared with us, he truly knows what he wants. I would suggest leaving him be. As it seems he wanted the best of both worlds I'm afraid. Am sorry for you. I hope my take helps :)

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    • I am the one who called it off and am the one who is in No Contact. He is the one texting me non stop 24/7 trying to get me back. I think I put an end to it though.

    • I would say keep the no contact, as it seems he was enjoying using you and her for his advantage

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry this happened to u, its easy for an outsider to tell u to end it. It seems u still care for him and want to stick around
    If u do wish to continue ur relationship with this man at least dont fall right back into his arms
    Ignore him for a while tell him ur thinking about it and that u need time. So he learns his lesson and won't fuck around next time
    All the best dear

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    • No I told him on the phone after him 24/7 texting and bothering me that I could never trust him as they live close to each other and we are about 30 miles apart. I said when you are not with me, I will never trust what you are doing. When you are on your phone I will never trust you. Where there is not trust, there is nothing. I told him to just let me go. Took an hour, but I think maybe he got it. He has been very quiet since Friday. Either way I think I am done. I am kicking myself in the head even considering it. I have never ever went back to an ex. But the feelings were strong for this one. And I am fighting myself wondering if I am doing the right thing lol. Grrrrr. I know I am, just wish I wasn't having this internal war with myself.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds too much like a player. I'd walk away, but, I can't tell you what to do, you'll just fight me on it

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    • If he is a player--why wouldn't he just walk away instead of fight to get me back? He claimed he would block her from FB, even his cell phone and would prove to me he could be trusted. Most players run with their tail between their legs when they are caught.

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    • There you go, fighting me

    • I am not fighting you. I am 44-I know what players do. I really think he still has feelings for her-but also know he has feelings for me. Trust me, no contact for me usually means I am 100% done. But this is the first time I am having trouble being 'done' and just wanted others opinions. I know if I were looking in from the outside, I would say to run. (= Hard to do sometimes.

What Girls Said 2

  • Walk away. you deserve better

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  • I am sooo sorry you are going through this.. Right now NC is the best option. You need to take care of yourself and think things through. While doing so I would like to say don't take the signs lightly... This has happened for a reason.. If you do decide to move forward with him set the boundaries and stick to it! He needs to know this is NOT acceptable behavior.. Take care of yourself.. I wish you the best.

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