What would you do or how would you feel with this information?

Ok so my ex and I broke up in March less than a week after my birthday (he need me to take care of him after his emergency appendectomy). He had stopped having sex with me for the most part in November and I was lucky to get it twice a month if that. He would tell me that I should just get a side piece to fulfill my sexual needs because he just lost his libido. In reality he was fucking someone else on the side while I paid his bills and gave him a place to live. I found out that he got her pregnant and that's why he broke up with me because that planned on keeping it but had a miscarriage in April. I'm really confused by all of it and don't feel like I can talk to my new man about it a lot because they were friends for a long time. I'm really happy that I'm not with him anymore and everything but he also lied to my face multiple times even after the break up about how he never cheated. any thoughts or advice on how to get over this? I just really needed someone to listen


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You just neee time to get over it, what he did was of a pure asshole, so just spend time with your new boyfriend and enjoy it, try doing as much stuff as you can to keep your mind entertained. And I know all of that was negative, but try to find the bright side of it, like you would have never been with your new and better boyfriend for example.
    It just takes time and having someone that cares for you at your side helps a lot too.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Time and forgiveness, even if you're not religious or w/e. You two were not meant to be and some relationships end that way. Sometimes no matter how well things may seem to be going, a wrench gets thrown in the gears and the entire thing breaks down. I wouldn't bring it up unless your new boyfriend asks you about it, no need to mix that kind of drama into a new relationship. Could sabotage it before it's even had a chance to grow into something.

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  • What you could do is simply ask your new man "were you aware that..." and try to tell him what happened without too much emotion.
    And simply tell him that since they used to be friends you simply want to know how he feels about all that given he knows the guy very well.
    It's really important you tell him you're impressed by the situation and need advise and listening ears.
    It don't think much can go wrong, if he loves you he won't let you down :D

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    • He was there when I found out and heard the whole thing. He had no idea and it pissed him off to no extent for multiple reasons. He was lied to as well, taken advantage of, and he hates that someone could do anything to hurt me, especially that. Because of that it's hard to talk to him about it without feeling like a crap so for bringing it up.

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    • Those are some great suggestions. Thank you

    • You most welcome. If you need some listening ears let me know... will keep my thumbs up :D

  • I think it's OK to tell your new boyfriend the details. Your ex could've lied to him also

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    • He knows what happened. He was with me when I was told by a mutual "friend" of my ex's. Really my friend said he only talks to him and let's him think their friends because he knows that he's a shitty person who will tell him stuff he can use against him later like the pregnancy thing. I just don't want to be bringing it up when I know it really hurts him too and it's painful for my new man for multiple reasons

What Girls Said 4

  • This happens MORE than you know.
    Lying is a form of Camelot for some, they really believe the webs they weave.
    It also prevents YOU from being hurt (they think stupidly)
    Prevents THEM from consequences.
    Gives them access to a small harem, in this case - every man's fantasy.

    Using you guilt was probably undermined by the temptation to rationalize that he was doing all he could, crippled as he was... that this gal was a passing fling, she realized that and got preg on purpose to keep him & defeat your powers over him.

    It's best to slashed by a liar early on! Kids, possession division, begin dating again late in life, stiffarming perfectly good marriage material candidates all those horrors avoided early on.

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  • Wow , I'm surprised you didn't hit him or something.

    Try exercising to get all your frustration out if talking about it with other people doesn't work.

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    • Well I don't see him anymore so I'd have to go out of my way to find him. Instead I moved across the country to be with my new man.
      I agree that exercising helps a lot, at least for me. Unfortunately I haven't had the time to and I haven't found a gym near where I live yet

  • Wew that guy screwed up big time

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    • Yeah... I don't know where I should let others know or keep it to myself or confront my ex about all his lies or what?

    • You can let others now... But I wouldn't confront your ex about it, he needs to be eradicated from thought

  • Well for one I know how u feel because I dated a man he got a girl pregnant before he got with me but didn't know it but when he found out about the pregnancy he told me the baby was not his I believe him because the girl disappeared right well come to find out he was still sleeping with her while he was sleeping with me and living in my house and he stole 400 dollars for the birth of his son which turned out to be his through a DNA test I came home one day all of his stuff was gone and so was he he went back to her then he decided when she left him that he wanted me back and my stupid ass took him back why I don't know but I did and six months later he left me again for her so men are horrible I still don't trust them to this day the best thing u can do is not speak to him again

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    • I haven't since I found out. He tried to get me to beg for him back when they two of them broke up (still didn't have proof of him cheating yet) and I told him how his best friend and I were dating. That didn't go over well but I'm much happier and feel more like myself with him. My ex still gets to me though, knowing what he did and continuously learning that all the stories he told me that made me fall for him were lies and it was really his best friend who I'm now with.

    • As long as your happy that's all that matters but be very careful they have a way of being manipulative this I do know but I would say they will never admit to what they have done or at least mine never would so just know u probably will never get the full story from him anyway and men always want what they can't have why that is who knows just focus on your new relationship and don't let the past ruin what u have now I have that problem myself

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