​They say you have to let go and move on if you really ever want a your ex to want you back again. Why is this?​ Does anyone ever seen this happen?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes and no. I think it's mostly to try and motivate people to move on by telling them what they want to hear even though I have never seen a relationship rekindled after someone moves on.

    That being said, I moved on from my ex and she started to show interest again and now finds excuses to see me or talk to me. She even became the sweetheart of my fraternity even though she hated the guys I was in it with when we were dating. Only problem for her is that in the process of moving on I discovered that I am a lot happier without her.

    I think it's a good policy that once a relationship is over, it truly needs to be over, and that IF it were to happen again it needs to be a truly fresh start and not just picking up where it was left broken before, but normally one person or the other realizes that it wasn't good in the first place and doesn't want to try again.

    • Well not "normally." For example, my parents were apart for a whole year at one point in their dating, and they've been married 25 years. I do agree that there needs to be growth and change in both people if it's ever going to work out again.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't fake moving on, if your end plan is to eventually get him back then you are not moving on, but making them think you did. That's called mind game and it never works. Ever.

    But if you decide to truly move on, if you want to move on, you will and you won't want him back when that happens. Deciding to move on is deciding to never ever get back together. That's what true moving on means.

    You need to decide what you want. If you want him back, then don't move on. Keep in touch, be nice, smile, but initiate. Act like nothing happen and try to live a happy life. Once he sees your happy without him and not needy, he might want you back. It needs to be from a fresh start, he needs to start liking you again like he did when he met you. It really rarely happens (because it's hard to start fresh with someone you know too well) but hell, miracles happen. Basically you need to seduce him again, but you must not argue or get jealous or angry when he doesn't give back. These things move too slow and you have to be patient. Then if too much time passes and still nothing happened, you'll move on without even realizing it. We can't fight against time. I tried not to move on from my ex because I wanted to give him space and time to figure out what he wants, I really did my best to keep my feelings for him. But time wasn't on my side and I got over him literally over night. He came back and wanted to try again but I just couldn't rekindle my emotions. It's sad actually but he knew the risk. And I know he didn't want back because he was afraid I moved on, he had no idea, I was faking most of the hangings out when in fact I was bored and not comfortable. He thought I'm still in love with him. I wish my feelings didn't disappear...


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What Guys Said 2

  • They're lying to you. The tell you to do that, because you'll eventually start fucking someone else if you move on. If you meet someone new, you meet someone new and your ex is history. Moving on just puts separation between you and your ex. It doesn't help you get back with your ex, it destroys any chance of that happening...

    • Huh... so what... you stalk them?

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    • When it comes to the specific girl I'm thinking of right now, things were shaky/confusing near the end. I tried to talk to her about what was happening and work things out. She was being distant and unwilling to communicate/deal with it... Eventually I had enough of her bullshit and cut her lose. Then she went crazy and did some stupid shit in anger. So technically I ended it, but she was drifting away before I had the final word. Then we moved on... Then she came back and stalkith me... If she would have just work shit out when she needed to I would have stayed. We live different lives now.

    • Ohhhhh, I'm talking about when the person dumps you and you try to work it out in the beginning. I heard it's best to just move on and then they eventually usually come sniffing around a few months/years later.

  • Yeah, it's reverse psychology.

    • You've seen it happen?

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    • Gee! Why not? Were you just happier without her?

    • She acted like a bitch with the breakup, I thought she was a better person but I found out I was wrong. There's no going back after that, there are nicer girls out there!

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