Why do exs ask about your new life?

In particular, whether if you're seeing someone new.
  • Out of curiosity or boredom
    Vote A
  • Out of emotional attachment
    Vote B
  • Out of guilt
    Vote C
  • Other answers/comments
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • Males have a fundamental instinct. Once we stop being little boys and start getting into relationships with females, we start developing an instinct for, hmmm, for lack of a better word, protection. We a female is in our care, we change. We want to know how she is and if there are any threats to her or the relationship.

    The thing is that, even once our relationship with a woman may end, that instinct applied to her does not immediately end. It's not like a light switch. Even if he dumped the woman, he, deep down inside, considers her part of his stable of women that he had relationships with and, because of that, he will always have some positive feelings and be inquisitive. If he is the one who got dumped, then no way that instinct gets turned off. In fact, it's why heartbreak is so tough on guys; with no relationship, she-who-dumped-him would prefer he turn off the instinct, but he can't just do it like that. So, he eats himself alive with heartache trying to find the self-discipline to suppress the instinct. If he can't, he might become a stalker for awhile at least. Only time can fix this. Think of the ex as still checking up on you as a form of masturbation. He can't have you, but he still needs to execute his protective instinctive behavior and checking up on you enables him to do that.

    • This does not happen very much anymore in dating these days, but I'm glad that I came across a guy (my ex) like that, and he's only 27 this year.

      It's fortunate and unfortunate that we met, really, for he's such a wonderful man who knows how to treat his girl well. The sad part is, we are only in the same continent for just a few short months, and then he's now back in Africa for work, which is why we broke up - because he didn't want to do long distance.

      I can't say for sure who did the dumping, though. But if at all what you said is what's going on in his mind, I think we both are just going through the same pain due to distance - both trying to suppress the feeling we have for each other, not entirely sure what's the best course of action to take.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • The chances are, there life isn't going as they planned to, maybe their new partner isn't who they thought they were, so they are trying to test the waters to see if you are still receptive and whether you would allow them to creep back into your life.


What Girls Said 2

  • Because they want to see if you're doing better than they are...

  • insecure basically


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