I dated this guy for over 1.5 years, eventually we had an argument and broke up. I've been madly in love with him since about 2 months after I met him, he's with another girl now and I dont know what to do. I can't get over him or stop thinking about him. When I wake up he's the first thing thats on my mind, when I fall asleep he's the last thing on my mind I genuinely dont know how I'm going to get through this, its at the point where Its affecting my life. I have since developed panic disorder & severe depression and its killing me.
I deleted him on everything and cut contact but I still dont feel okay, im broken over this. I've tried to distract myself but I haven't met anyone im interested in even though I've put myself out there & have even tried dating sites.. I feel like this pain is taking over my life, I've cried myself to sleep every night for almost 2 years over this guy and I genuinely dont know what Im going to do. I feel hopeless.
Please help me.
Most Helpful Girl
Oh, dear :( I'm so sorry. I've been through a few breakups, but only one that felt like what you're describing, and it was horrible. I really don't wish it on anyone. However, I *did* live through it and ended up dating two (great) guys afterwards, one of which I married. My point is, the feeling of heartbreak is *not* an indication that this guy is the right guy for you, nor does it mean that you made a mistake or that there's something wrong with you in any way. A relationship ended, as they do. It's painful, but it's a part of life. The fact that he moved on with someone else really, truly has *nothing* to do with you - in fact, I think it's harmful for you to be even considering what he is doing or who he's dating. I know you've cut off all contact with him, which is great, but you also need to do it in your own mind.
I know that sounds kinda weird and hippie-ish, but it's not. You say that you're thinking about him constantly, but your thoughts and emotions are actually something that you can control. It's going to seem really hard at first, but it gets easier with time and you will feel so much better if you just try:
Every time a thought/memory of him pops into your mind, you acknowledge it by thinking "Okay" and letting go of that thought. And then you immediately distract yourself with something; calling a friend or getting exercise or jumping into a hobby (something that requires concentration, like video games or crafting, are great).
Spending time with friends, or getting out to meet new people - just socializing in general - makes a huge difference as well. And no, dating sites don't count, I'm talking about smiling and mulling around people, in person ;)
The first few days/weeks/months are hard, but each day that passes you will get better at letting go and you will find yourself feeling better and better. Trust that you will be okay, and take steps to take care of yourself!1