Jealous of ex-boyfriend?

Long background: My ex broke up with me about half a year ago, we had been dating for almost 3 years. I was hung up on him for a very long time after the catastrophe. But I never bothered him, I allowed him his space. Eventually he called me with some lame excuse. Which in turn made it worse, until finally I had to say. "I can't do this, don't call me unless it's a dire emergency." He has contacted me a few times since then and I blew him off, still trying to recover.

And it has been absolute torture for me.

While we were dating, I found it very strange that I always felt jealous. (Not of ex-girlfriends, or him potentially checking out other girls.) I spend a lot of my time working to pay off college bills, and he has never had to. As he gets handed most of these things.. The fact never bothered me until a little later on in the relationship when he was constantly nagging at me for working so much. This is when I started noticing a very big problem.

I can't believe I'm saying something so petty. But. I think I'm jealous OF my ex-boyfriend. Not just because of money, or the way he gets pampered. But of all the friends he has, all of his talents, and his general shine he seems to possess. And I've found that it is getting steadily worse now that we're broken up. I feel extremely guilty for coming to this realization that maybe, I've been jealous of him all along.

I actually attempted to make civilized conversation with him. And when he started telling me all of this stuff that was going on, I was naturally hurt for the way he had moved on so quickly (But I mean he IS a guy. So I wasn't entirely surprised.) But more than that. I was horribly envious.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. . .but this is ridiculous.


Does this have to do with me not being over him? Or am I just terribly jealous of him in general?. . .I'm confused. Tips would be nice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you are not jealous.

    You were dating him for a long time and felt him to be a part of your life. You probably did a lot for him and had your best wishes for him. On the other hand, he seems to be a self centered kind of person and did not give back proportionately. Hence, you feel unfairly treated.

    Imagine this. If you had not dated him for this long and had known him onl as an acquiantance, would you feel this way?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Does this have to do with me not being over him? Yes! I mean your still thinking about him no matter what the situation is. My advice is to ignore him at all cost!

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D


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