Ex boyfriend text me on birthday?

last month my now ex boyfriend dumped me by text after being together 3 years. we agreed to be on a break but after nearly 2 weeks I asked him if he wanted to go pictures for a couple of hours to which he replied he was busy that day also all week! after this I asked what was going on to which he replied he was nice and chilled and the relationship was over but didn't know how to tell me! the past year I have been so down and upset after work issues and losing 4 family members in a short of amount of time. over the 3 years I had supported him with work issues skin ezmema and new a job. I feel that he has just closed the door on my problems after everything I've done for him. he has since said he wants to be friends still loves me and cares I meant up with him couple weeks after and he had me in floods of tears saying he only thinks of me as a friend he doesn't want me only to be around happy people etc pretty much ripped my heart apart. when I got home he text me saying he loved me and cared and hates me being unhappy. I replied ok 3 weeks have passed he has text couple of times to which I have ignored then other day was my birthday just 30 mins after midnight he text me saying happy birthday! hope you are ok? Should I reply and say thank you at least? or just ignore him as he was a prick to me?
  • he's messing with you
    Vote A
  • he's not sure what he wants/ or wants you back
    Vote B
  • tell him to fuck off
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
also why text so soon after midnight?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a hard situation. 3 years is a long time. Im sure you have strong feelings for him. Personally Id say it depends what you want right now. If you want him back, say thank you but make sure that is all. Nothing about feelings or anything. He was probably just being nice and does care about you. The shitty thing is you can't make people love you, or want to be with you. But the more you dont go around him, the more he will miss you. Trust me he still thinks of the good times, and might be reconsidering his situation.

    You can't help what you went through in life. Some people just aren't strong enough to deal when your partners down. Im like you i was always there for my girl, but when i started going through shit... she ended up leaving because it was too much drama. I was pissed at first, but ultimately you are the strong one since you can deal. There will be someone that can, or maybe he will be too.

    He probably has no idea if he wants to be with you. After a break up when you are the one that got broken up with, when you cry and stuff it makes them say no even more. Stay strong, stay positive, and enjoy your life. If you meet him again act like it doesn't bother you. If he says friends encourage the idea (its a false friendship that makes them comfortable)... the subtly work romance back in. Make them chase you again. It has worked for me. At first i was begging, but then i just said ok fine we are friends... its not about the label its about the bond anyway. Now she slowly has started to chase me more, i can bring up good moments and have fun again, i can get her to blush and feel good around me again. It didn't take long, but i let her intiate the contact for awhile and things have improved... she says couple, talks about future, and doesn't grimace when i talk about us together.

    But if you to move on then dont respond. Ever.


Most Helpful Girl

  • ... He has since said he wants to be friends...
    This is your Answer, he has made it Quite crystal clear, dear, and even though he is a loser, no soul mate, nor life line nor life support you can ever count on when the chips have been down, a Polite "thank you" is All you need to Reply to put this to bed now and Consider it a Closure and the End of a 3 year relationship That... I feel he has just closed the door on my problems after everything I have done for him.
    No more to be said now, he is this fickle pickle who is Not very koshore because he is Not Sure he can handle your strife in life nor wants to be hooked at the hip as two birds of a feather who he doesn't want to stick Together... He wants to spread his wings and be free to fly south.
    He is comfy with his cozy nook words of "I still love you and care," because he knows there is No Commitment anymore and he can come and go as he likes with Not a care in the world.
    Blow out your candles and move on to a new life. He 'Text soon after midnight' for he is guilt ridden with Mistreating you and leaving you to feel as though you have egg all over your face. Consider him now A... Fair weather friend till the end.
    Good luck and my blessings. xx


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He was just wanting to be kind , that night.
    It happens not only to saints but also to normal people.

  • asnwers to your poll are bad because there is no option "he just wants to wish you a happy bday". I send my ex every year, even though there was some "bad blood" after we broke up, and I wasn't messing with her, I wasn't trying to get back together, I was just being polite. And if she answered me to to fuck off, she would just turn so small in my eyes I wouldn't have any respect for her. Just being honest here

    • what does your ex think when you text her? does she do the same or say thank you?
      I did actually say thank you back as I have manners. the reason I put fuck off was basically as the why I was treated at the end with a text message which didn't really show me any respect for the past 3 years I had been with him

What Girls Said 5

  • i don't think he is messing with your mind, but i think that he doesn't want to be with you. I think he doesn't want you to be upset or unhappy with him, however, that's nearly impossible right now. i think that he wants to be friends, and that he just doesn't want to be anything more. Its absolutely messed up that he has ended it the way he did. but i think you should simply say "thank you." and move one. The best thing you can do is forgive him, and live your life. be friends, but keep it that. find someone else.

  • Unfortunately sometimes in life the love you give out is not what you get back in return. In any healthy relationship there must be give and take and respect for one another. If one is just taking---he's getting the love and support from you over everything and in return he gives you nothing back, that is really unfair to you. Also someone who truly did care for you wouldn't break up in such a cowardly way. (I like that was literally an entire episode of sex in the city like that where the guy broke up in a post it note, ugh!) Anyway go and find a guy that will show up on your birthday and be there for you 100%, not someone who just says he wants to be friends and then doesn't even follow through.

  • I don't think he's doing any of the above. I think he genuinely cares for you and wants you to know it. 3 years is a long time to be with someone so he's obviously got a lot of feelings for you. Even if they are only friendly feelings - there is nothing wrong with that. You seem angered by the fact that he's realized he has only friendly feelings for you and I understand that. But would you rather him live a lie and pretend to feel more for you than what he feels?

    If his texting you is bothering you, you should tell him that maybe one day you will be able to be friends with him but that right now you'd like him to leave you alone so you can focus on yourself and move on. It's going to take quite a while for you to find a "new normal" and to really move on. Just focus on bettering yourself and having a positive frame of mind! Good luck!!

  • He doesn't know what he wants. Tell him to fuck off, he's just messing with you.

  • Just say thanks and leave it at that


Recommended myTakes