So here's the story in brief: a couple of years ago, my now girlfriend almost got raped by this guy she liked. Now she's got really bad intimacy issues. How do I help her overcome these and let her know how much I care about her?
Most Helpful Girl
No, that is a very good feeling to have. You should want to protect her. Any person who has suffered abuse, especially sexual abuse needs two things. Support, and Understanding. You need to understand that healing can be a very very long process. She may want to be with you one moment, and then act very cold and distant. Understand that it isn't your fault, she's scared. The one thing you should never do, is pressure her physically. When she shuts down before you are intimate, then you just need to let her shut down. Tell her that she calls the shots, whatever she needs you to do, you can do it. This might mean a lot of cold showers on your part, but it's important that she sees that you aren't treating her like you own her, or like she is a sexual toy.
Don't rush her, she'll come around (Slowly) supporting her is the only thing you can do. Talk to her about the situation, ask her what she needs.0