Ex wants to work things out but I don't know if I want him back, what should I do?

So it's been three weeks since we ended things. It was mutual, we've had to deal with a lot of personal things and on top of that we felt we would be to busy to have time for one another. We are both In school and he's working 2 jobs and I'll be working my first job also. We loved each other but now I feel I was looking forward to the single life. I didn't want to date and meet new guys anytime soon, but I just wanted to not focus on a relatioship anymore at least not now. The first week of the break up I was REALLY sad about our break up. Now that he has contacted me and said he want to work things out I don't know what to say. I don't know why my feelings changed so fast.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Exs and exs for a reason. Unless you both have fixed all the issues you had it won't work and will go back to the same old thing.

    You should spend your time with school, working, and maybe meeting some other guys who later on might be more compatible with you.

    I will never again in my life go back to an ex. I did it once and it was a complete waste of time in the end.

    Take some time to find yourself again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Make a list: of the things you want, the things you need and the things that you think will come from the relationship, also make a con list. All the things you didn't like about the relationship. Don't try to glorify the relationship. Really think about what brought you to the decision to end it and whether you are willing to put up with those things again. Good luck :-)

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    • "Really think about what brought you to the decision to end it and whether you are willing to put up with those things again."

      I'll first say I will never get back an ex again in my life. I am amazed that most people who do get back won't figure out what their problems were in the first place. They just get back together and then complain everything is the same all over again.

    • I completely agree with you @DoubleCheck I won't get back with an ex but it seems a lot of people do. My mind set is we broke up for a reason, and that reason didn't magically go away when we split so it will be there when we get back together.

    • I agree with taking the time to actually think about the decision. I love the idea of the list.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Your feelings will bounce around a lot initially. Right now you don't want him because he wants you. If a few days or a week goes by and you haven't heard from him, you'll want him. It's normal. Just remember you broke up (mutually?) for a reason. stand firm and get busy with other things. IF , after at least 6 weeks you/he still want to try agsin, meat for lunch in public separate cars and see what happens.

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  • Just stick to your plan. Going back is never really a good idea and often just prolongs the agony

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  • don't know what to say still like my condition

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What Girls Said 3

  • ... I don't know what to say...
    This is because with the Breakup and a possible makeup, it could mean thing may just go back to the "Way we were" and Again... Go down a bad beaten path and a full circle Problem pattern.
    It's your choice, your call. However, with not much hymning and hawing on your own part, your Heart may Instead be telling your head that you are Beginning your Beguine of 'Looking forward to the single life' and with No strife, You... No focus on a relationship anymore at least not now.
    Tell him, if need be, you are Not into anything heavy right now. You still care but you want to go slow with his flow. You want to simply nurture and nurse possibly a new Thing But... Not with a ring.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Maybe the ship has sailed? if u loved him i think you would have found it harder to deal with the break up

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  • Just tell him this :) go talk to him and figure it out with him that would be appropriate to end or begin this relation ;)

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