Girls, why are you all so confusing?

Girls I need some sort of advice, I've posted on here before about how my ex girlfriend dumped me by our 1 year because I was insecure, jealous, and angry... yeah I fucked up. We both work together, we met at work and fell for eachother and dated and we're in love... until my insecurities got into the way through the end of the relationship. The breakup was bad for me and I begged foe the beginning weeks until I gave up and wanted to fix myself... went NC to get control, got better unlike her who hated who makes things awkward and bitter and started blocking me from facebook and instagram. I then posted a lot of questions on her, and started slowliy trying to fix the relationship between us because I still love my ex and want her in a new relationship. I started trying to text her here and there (almost 2 months after the breakup) to lighten the mood and would get neutral responses but she did unblock me during that time which I didn't mention at all.

Two weeks later after that on Monday I invited her to get coffee and catch up and she gave me a neutral I don't know and i might be busy response to me, I later on texted her saying that I understood being hesitant but I just wanted a good time between us and if she needed to get stuff on the table then its all up to her, and I would text her on Wednesday to see if she waneed to or not. Wednesday comes and I'm about to text her when one of our mutual friends posts pictures of her and a couple of male work buddies on a speed boat (with her in a bikini)... she isn't the type of girl to do that but it ripped me up to shreds and I went back to square one of the recovery process, but I stood my ground to not show it hurt me and asked her about the pictures and still asked her hours later after the post... after hours of no responses I told her that I'd text her in the morning if she was busy at the moment.
The day after and the day of the coffee meetup i didn't even bother texting her because not only did she not seem ready but I didn't want to keep pushing after I felt destroyed so I hung out with friends to have fun. I later found out that my friend saw her on Xbox live pretty much the whole day we were supposed to meetup and the night I texted her and didn't get a response. And now today she just blocked me again after 2 weeks of keeping me unblocked.
I love this girl and my other posts show me still trying but I'm still confused on what's going through her mind to openly block me again after I don't overreact to her unblocking me, keeping my cool when I see her in a bikini with other guys, and just getting rejected and ignored for a small neutral meetup.

Can any of you girls help me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she might be trying to tell you she's not interested (not in so many words). I semi-broke up (I say "semi" because we'd never got past the stage of "sort of seeing each other") with someone for similar reasons, and when I said I didn't want to hear from them again, I meant it. They bombarded me with messages on every available avenue for at least 2 months after it. When I blocked him, I meant it too. Recently he found my profile on a dating site and started messaging me there, asking if we could salvage some sort of relationship.

    Please don't be one of these hangers-on. It's awkward and embarrassing for both parties. There will be other girls who will want you in their lives. This one seems like she doesn't. You're missing out.

    You have to understand that it wasn't the insecurity etc that really got to me. It was the persistent hounding after the breakup. It felt like a blatant disrespect of my wishes and invasion of my space. Nobody is obliged to interact with anyone else. I felt like I could not be with someone who wouldn't take no for an answer.

    I know from this that he's not someone whose presence would make a positive impact on my life. And I don't know whether this girl thinks the same way - but when I discover that about people, I walk away. Life's too short to waste time on people who are less than good for you.

    • No I understand, in all honesty this was a big relationship for the both of us and I was insecure because I wanted that end game with her... I freaked out during the first few weeks of the breakup but like I said I stopped talking to her to fix myself and when I felt strong enough to make amends I asked her out for coffee, but I did it not to beg her back... it was to get back to being friends and lose the horrible situation in work. Do I want something in the future? Maybe because we did have a big relationship and I do like her a lot but I never wanted to pressure her, go too fast, and beg her.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm not saying this to be rude to you, but you need to STOP.

    You cannot bombard this girl with messages, or try to force a relationship between the two of you. She is giving you clear signs that it is over, she is not interested in even being friends, and she wants to move on, and you're hindering that. When couples break up, it is normal to have little to no relationship, especially if you know the other person isn't over you because all it does is reawaken feelings and only make it more painful for them. You need to leave her alone. If she wants anything with you, let her reach out to you instead of torturing yourself.

    • Thanks?

    • Show All
    • No, I've accepted the breakup and have given my space and obviously I have moments as shown above... but I have moved on at some part of it because old me would have flipped a shit ten fold on her breakup or together. It's a long road to fix the things that ruined the relationship but it wasn't all bad and as someone that cares for the person and knows he fucked up and wants to fix it... it's a heavy thing to hold up

    • I know it is, but like I said, sometimes people just can't be friends when the relationship ends.

  • I know it sucks right now! Your situations Sounds so familiar to me! I was YOU!! Trust me when I say I know the agonizing feeling of being rejected and ignored.. It can leave you depressed for days!! I honestly don't think I've ever felt that kind of pain until my last breakup. So with that said I will also say TRUST ME it gets BETTER! Leave her alone!!! Walk away, save yourself, take care of yourself, focus on yourself, be yourself, grow yourself, respect yourself! She's rude and heartless with no human compassion.. But one thing you can be sure of is that tables always turn. What goes around comes around.. It may not happen anytime soon but one day she will regret being so cold because she to will experience that same feeling. You need to STOP reaching out save your dignity and pride! You're a person that cares to much and people that can't see your heart don't deserve it and you know it!!

  • Sounds like She's not looking to get back with u. U need to move on. What she does now is really none of ur business and u questioning her will only push her away further. If things r meant to b, she will come around. Just gotta not force things.

    • I know, like I said I wasn't trying to force her back, I just wanted to fix our friendship and not make it still awful at work

    • Just let her get over hmit however she feels she needs to do that. She'll grow up and b civil eventually... Hopefully...

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