I have been going back and forth and whether to break up with my girlfriend or not. What should I do?

Been dating for 9-10 months. Me (28) her (26) The first few months were ok, then she moved in after 3-4 months and we started having problems right off the bat. I have been thinking about ending things for a few months, but everytime I do it, she ends up talking me out of it. Or she breaks up with me, and I do the same.


- These past few months it seems like we argue everday, over stupid shit usually.
- It is a chore to get her to hang out with any of my friends and family. She has only met 2 of my friends, and only my parent 2-3 times. In 10 months.
- I can tell my family does not like her, my brother says it, my mom just thinks it to herself, but I can tell.
- She is an uncontrollable bitch when she is drunk. Past a certain drink limit she becomes a monster.
- Can't really see myself marrying this girl, at least not as things are now.
- She has very few friends and money and is overly dependent on me.
- She is very irresponsible, and we are constantly having money stuggles because of stupid mistakes she has made.
- We have broken up maybe 10-14 times total. Most not for more than an hour, or the next day at most. We always apolgize and things go back to how they were, but only for a bit.
- I don't find myself attracted to her anymore. Maybe once in a blue moon when she gets all dressed up, but we barely have sex anymore. Maybe 1-2 a week.


- First LTR, and I really do love her
- She accepts me for me. I am a huge nerd, and I don't have to hide any of it. In fact she likes it.
- When we are good together, we are really good. I feel like I can be myself mostly.
- I feel like I could really regret ending things with her.
- She loves me... a lot. Like more than any girl ever has. I haven't been with many girls, but this is huge for me. I am worried I will never find someone who loves me as much as her again.
- She is very beautiful.
We talked about it today, and I have told her that we might need to end things. She does not want to, and wants us to talk about it tonight.

I need to make a decision today or tomorrow because my lease is coming to an end, and need to figure out if we are staying in "our apartment" or if we are both moving out.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You will find someone who loves you as much as she does again. When the first guy I actually fell in love with broke up with me, I thought my life was over at 16 'cause I'd never felt that before and I thought I'd never feel it again. I was in a better relationship less than six months later. Oh, and lots of women like nerds.
    Stay with her because you want to be with her. Don't stay with her because you're afraid of what might happen if you don't.


What Guys Said 1

  • It seems like you've been trying to leave her for some time, but the idea of her is keeping you around. You have some serious cons and some of your pros aren't really that strong. And I've got to ask, if you stay with this girl, and you keep guilting yourself into staying with her, will you be happy in the end? Eventually you're going to get married, is it with this girl, or will you find the courage to find someone that you can really be in love with? Dating is our way of finding out if someone is compatible with our lifestyle. If you haven't figured that out, especially living together, then you already know the answer, you're just afraid of doing something about it. I've been where you are, minus the living together. But we spent almost every day together, and I was afraid that if we didn't break up, I wouldn't find anyone as good as her. The truth is, there are tons of girls out there who are better and worse for you. It makes it much worse when you've been dating for such a long time because now you're truly convinced no one else is willing to accept you as you are, as she has. Don't let this illusion fool you. Lots of girls would be thrilled to date you, and give you the respect for you and the relationship.


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