Is it reasonable for me to ask my fiance to stop communication with some of his past hook ups?

My fiancé and I have been together for some time. When we got together it made him uncomfortable and upset that I was still in contact with some of my major exes. He never verbally asked me to remove them from my life, but it was always a huge button pusher when I would get in contact with one of them. So I stopped communicating with them. Now that we are engaged and having a baby it seems that some of his old flings seem to be talking to him more often. It could just be a coincidence, but it makes me uncomfortable. Since we were friends before we dated I know about his past relationships with some of these girls. Most of it was sexual. I want to ask him to stop talking to them, but I feel guilty about it. Am I wrong to feel concerned? These were people that he just used to hook up with, one of them was long term. Recently he asked me to remove one of my exes and long term friends from my life. What should I do? Keep removing mine and not say a thing about his? Or what other course of action could I take?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "his past relationships with some of these girls. Most of it was sexual."

    Given that he was of such kind, you should take action to stop that from happening again. Delicate situation though. Any heated arguement arising from this is just going to give him the excuse he is dying for, to go out for sex. Calm down, trust your gut feelings as to how you approach this situation. How far are you into pregnancy?

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    • I am about 11 weeks along.

    • Go ahead and have a good chat with him. Read/feel his facial expressions. Words can't be trusted too much. If you sense something is wrong, trust your gut feelings, expresses them calmly. Take this as an opportunity to get to know him more. Indeed to him your pregnancy is another integrity test. 11 weeks is not too long. That gives you choices/"negotiation power".

    • Go ahead and have a good chat with him. Read/feel his facial expressions. If you sense something is wrong, expresses it calmly. Take this as an opportunity to get to know him more. Indeed to him your pregnancy is another integrity test. 11 weeks is not too long. That gives you choices/"negotiation power". Trust your gut feelings, very important at this juncture to trust them.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You have every right to be concerned. Try sitting down with him and explain to him how you feel about this situation. Tell Him it makes you uncomfortable , and tell him if he loves you then you would stop contacting his ex.

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D

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What Girls Said 2

  • WAY reasonable.

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  • tell him to stop talking to them. you have that right. especially if he doesn't want you talking to your exes. that would be hypocritical if he still talks to his. don't feel guilty, he didn't feel guilty when he asked you to remove your long time friend so why should you?

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