Should I tell him that I distanced myself because I still love him?

He broke up with me 5 months ago because he lost interest and couldn't do a LDR anymore. First couple of months we had no contact because I told him I can't be friends. He still wrote me from time to time but I was mostly ignoring it. I told him that maybe one day we can be friends but not now. So after 4 months there was this even that brought us together and we started talking again and I thought I was ready to be friends. So he was calling me every day, I responded, I called back, etc. We started playing a game together and it felt good. It was same as before just without the romance. Then I had a feeling that he maybe wants back so I convinced myself that if he wants back - good, if not - still good. I just went with the flow. It's been a month since we are like this and I noticed that I slowly started falling for him again. He is great to me but he friend-zoned me so hard and it makes my heart break now. I made a mistake getting back in touch with him. I really thought I was over him. Now I have to do it all over again. I find myself wanting to hear those words from him so badly. There is nothing he can say exept that he loves me and wants me back, to say something romantically, and to actually come visit me and kiss me. He is not gonna do that, I am sure he thinks I am totally fine with us being just friends. And it's my fault because I made him think that, I made myself think that too. He is not seeing anyone at the moment he hasn't been with anyone since we broke up, and neither have I. We were 3 years together. I started distancing again, I haven't respond him for few days and he keeps writing and calling me. I feel so sad every time the message pops out. I want to respond but all I want to write is that I love him and miss him romantically. I feel like he deserves to know what's up with me, if he already doesn't.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why don't you let him know how you feel about him? forget about what happened in the past, start afresh, let him know how you feel about him romantically, at the most what will happen, he may not accept it or will be taken aback, but then how do you know he is not feeling the same about you? maybe he is afraid to tell you just like you are afraid to tell him, and just as you distanced yourself from him because you love him, who know he may have friend-zoned you because he might have had some feelings for you?

    Possible right? anyways I would suggest if you can gather strength to tell him how you feel in that way you'll know what happens.

    • I am afraid to tell him because he might feel the pressure and bail out. But you are right, there is nothing else to lose... except the friendship. How should I start the conversation? I don't want to seem too desperate nor too happy.

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What Guys Said 2

  • "He is not seeing anyone at the moment he hasn't been with anyone since we broke up, and neither have I"

    ^actually that's good... think about it... it might mean he's not been wid anyone since he believes one day u might end up being together again!

    also he THINKS u r just fine wid being friends and only... u never told him dat u still love him didn't u? so i guess u should let him know... maybe he'll react positively judgin by da fact he's not seein anybody else ;)

  • I guess moving to where he is, is out of the question?

    • It's a big maybe. I have been trying to do that for past 2 years but it is so hard finding a job there with my low experience. So 6 months ago I got a really good job here, which will give me enough experience and a nice CV to apply somewhere there and actually have bigger chance. If we stayed together I would be planing that for next year. He dumped me few days after I told him I got that job. :/

    • It sounds like he doesn't have staying power. I think I'd let him go. Why couldn't he move where you are?

    • Oh no way my country is fucked up! I always wanted to get away from here.

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