What should I do about how my ex is acting with me?

Last night I went to a party that my ex and his wife attended. They got married 3months ago. I dated him for almost 4 years and I ended up breaking up with him. I had found he was cheating on me the whole time and when people wanted to know why that's what I said. It eventually got to his new girlfriend. He denied everything and people were choosing sides on who theybelieved. Anyways turns out a couple of friends did choose his side but now they aren't fond of the girlfriend. I only met her once so she hasn;t ever done anything to me. Well during this past year God has been tucking at my heart to forgive what other people have done to me. Which I hae now learned and at first it was the hardest but now I could tell I feel different around them. I feel much more comfortable around them and don't that anger I had towards him. I have forgiven him because I remember all the things we talked about. He had his own problems and has had people treat him in such ways too. So I truly have forgiven him. I tried to talk to him last night to let him know that I have forgiven him for everything. I was drinking some wine and I ended up chatting with my sister who I haven't seen for one year. My sister said how I was holding up and I told her that I hae forgiven him and really just want to become friends with him again. I was wanting to tell him last night but I didn;t get the chance. Now I regret not telling him anything but now I'm thinking maybe it was for the better. He is a liar and has most likely lied to her about me. If I would'e talked to him and she would've seen us he would've thrown me under the bus. So now I kind of am glad I didn't tell him anything because he's even told her I've called him when I never called him during that time they've been together. I have noticed he's a narcissist and was hoping he would see that just how I have forgiven him he can let go of his hurts as well. So should I have told him I've forgiven him or is it good that it was left that way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Last night I went to a party that my ex and his wife attended. "

    ^so i guess it was him who invited u?

    "Now I regret not telling him anything but now I'm thinking maybe it was for the better"
    " If I would've talked to him and she would've seen us he would've thrown me under the bus. "

    ^u can do it via text i guess, can't u? i believe it'd be better to tell him... also y do u believe he'll do this anyway?

    it's be better to give it a chance (if u still can) and forgive him... and if he reacts as u assume... just don't talk to him again ;)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's fjne to leave it like that.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think, in this case, that you need to tell him that you have forgiven him, because if he is as narcissistic as you say, it wouldn't mean that much to him. Forgive him in your heart as it is about you letting go of the hurt to enable you to move on with your life and leave all of that behind...

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    • I know that's how I see it now because I think about it now and most likely he would've made a fool out of me. Just because of his arrogance and than gone behind my back at my empathy towards him. We would talk about his dad and I always got a bad vibe from his dad. So he's always felt that his dad has never truly loved him and he's always tried to please his dad. These are all things that only I know and I literally had to calm him down while he was crying when his big brother left their house.

    • behind my back with his new girlfriend and for my weakness of forgiving him.

    • So, just forgive him in your heart and have as little to do with him as possible as it seems potentially destructive to be associated with him...

What Girls Said 2

  • Take your pride and go... Dont waste your time forgiving a person who shows no remorse. Only show forgiveness when it will improve a situation but he doesn't want to be around you by the sounds of it

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  • It's a good think you didn't say anything. It's good that you forgave him (to yourself) because it's not good to hold on to that hate, but he doesn't need to know that.

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    • Yes I'm glad I didn't because now that I think about it he's so arrogant it won't even process to him.

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