Last night I went to a party that my ex and his wife attended. They got married 3months ago. I dated him for almost 4 years and I ended up breaking up with him. I had found he was cheating on me the whole time and when people wanted to know why that's what I said. It eventually got to his new girlfriend. He denied everything and people were choosing sides on who theybelieved. Anyways turns out a couple of friends did choose his side but now they aren't fond of the girlfriend. I only met her once so she hasn;t ever done anything to me. Well during this past year God has been tucking at my heart to forgive what other people have done to me. Which I hae now learned and at first it was the hardest but now I could tell I feel different around them. I feel much more comfortable around them and don't that anger I had towards him. I have forgiven him because I remember all the things we talked about. He had his own problems and has had people treat him in such ways too. So I truly have forgiven him. I tried to talk to him last night to let him know that I have forgiven him for everything. I was drinking some wine and I ended up chatting with my sister who I haven't seen for one year. My sister said how I was holding up and I told her that I hae forgiven him and really just want to become friends with him again. I was wanting to tell him last night but I didn;t get the chance. Now I regret not telling him anything but now I'm thinking maybe it was for the better. He is a liar and has most likely lied to her about me. If I would'e talked to him and she would've seen us he would've thrown me under the bus. So now I kind of am glad I didn't tell him anything because he's even told her I've called him when I never called him during that time they've been together. I have noticed he's a narcissist and was hoping he would see that just how I have forgiven him he can let go of his hurts as well. So should I have told him I've forgiven him or is it good that it was left that way?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think, in this case, that you need to tell him that you have forgiven him, because if he is as narcissistic as you say, it wouldn't mean that much to him. Forgive him in your heart as it is about you letting go of the hurt to enable you to move on with your life and leave all of that behind...0
Most Helpful Girl
It's a good think you didn't say anything. It's good that you forgave him (to yourself) because it's not good to hold on to that hate, but he doesn't need to know that.0