3 years ago today, my ex officially broke up with me. I've had setbacks in the years since where all the progress I've made leaving him behind has dwindled. In the first year, I made the mistake of talking to him again before I was over him. He cut me off for months until I reached out again the next year. That seemed okay.
Last year, we went to a party, got drunk and were interested in getting back together. He told me a few days later that he thought it was a bad idea. He also began dating one of his best friends but they broke up and then slept together. This affected me because he turned down my advances but went with her. Eventually I got a couple hook ups with him. I was satisfied.
Throughout this time we were "friends" but I was doing all of the work (texting, etc since we went to different schools).
He stopped talking to me in February and after a week of trying to contact him with him ignoring all of my attempts, I cut it out. He hasn't spoken to me since. And I don't want to see or hear from him. I also stopped having romantic feelings for him.
The other night, in a weak moment, I looked him up online and he seemed to be doing better than me all around: improved appearance and, what I confirmed yesterday from one of his (former) best friends, a new girlfriend. The one he'd been with before.
Basically, he's doing better than me in this post undergraduate stage. He's got a girlfriend with whom he has everything in common. He's even doing an ldr with her from across the country, which is something he broke up with me over, though we went to different schools in the same state.
This has caused me lots of anxiety on top of the resentment I have for him and the way he's lead me on and disrespected me. I've tried to be the bigger person in the past but now, I'm just so overwhelmed. It's gotten to the point where I wish bad things on them.
What can I do not to feel anxiou
Most Helpful Girl
It's a difficult thing to see, but remember not to compare yourself to anybody but yourself. You two have different lives now, try to see his as different from yours and not better.
Social media fogs things. Because you aren't in contact with your ex it's hard to tell if he's actually doing as well as he appears. We all have struggles, and many of us aren't likely to post them online for every body to see. What you're looking at is face value, and how he wants the world to perceive him.
As for your feelings, let them flow. You have to work through them to find peace. Bottling them up or ignoring them will only make it worse. But try not to dwell on it either.
Do something for yourself. If you aren't happy in your current situation, think about which area you think needs the most work, and figure out how to take a step in that direction. Keeping a journal of your progress can help, you can look back on how far you've come after awhile and will start to feel better.
There isn't anything wrong with you. You're just on a different path than your ex. And you should be, because you are no longer in each other's lives.1