3 years ago today, my ex officially broke up with me. I've had setbacks in the years since where all the progress I've made leaving him behind has dwindled. In the first year, I made the mistake of talking to him again before I was over him. He cut me off for months until I reached out again the next year. That seemed okay.
Last year, we went to a party, got drunk and were interested in getting back together. He told me a few days later that he thought it was a bad idea. He also began dating one of his best friends but they broke up and then slept together. This affected me because he turned down my advances but went with her. Eventually I got a couple hook ups with him. I was satisfied.
Throughout this time we were "friends" but I was doing all of the work (texting, etc since we went to different schools).
He stopped talking to me in February and after a week of trying to contact him with him ignoring all of my attempts, I cut it out. He hasn't spoken to me since. And I don't want to see or hear from him. I also stopped having romantic feelings for him.
The other night, in a weak moment, I looked him up online and he seemed to be doing better than me all around: improved appearance and, what I confirmed yesterday from one of his (former) best friends, a new girlfriend. The one he'd been with before.
Basically, he's doing better than me in this post undergraduate stage. He's got a girlfriend with whom he has everything in common. He's even doing an ldr with her from across the country, which is something he broke up with me over, though we went to different schools in the same state.
This has caused me lots of anxiety on top of the resentment I have for him and the way he's lead me on and disrespected me. I've tried to be the bigger person in the past but now, I'm just so overwhelmed. It's gotten to the point where I wish bad things on them.
What can I do not to feel anxiou
I also want to clarify that I don't miss him or want him back, I just want to not stress over how great he's doing now and how I'm not in as good of a place as he seems to be.