How long did it take you to get over the first time to got dumped? How'd you deal with it?

It's about 4 months after the break up, and I don't know whats going on. I know that what happened was sad, I know i really liked the guy, and I know that i still do. However, i just don't know if whats happening is okay or normal, I guess?
Everytime I think that I get a hold of myself and I'm back on my feet, something happens and i just break down. I cry, look back at all the memories that happened between us, and just sort of curl up in a little ball. It's so pathetic to even read this while I'm typing.
I'm definitely the kind of girl who cares about and despises crying or self pity, so whats going on is not cutting it. But no matter what i tell myself, it's the same ordeal. I just don't know what to do. It's been about 4 months. Isn't that enough time?
I realize that I'm not over him, but why am I getting so emotional about it? After weeks of smiling and laughing and seeming so happy, i become a wreck and it makes me so mad to know that i do things like that.
I feel so unstable right now. I stopped looking at the possibility of us getting back together, but the thought creeps into my mind sometimes. I don't even try to like anybody because I'm so tired of chasing after people. I dont feel like i have it in me to have a crush during my last 2 years of high school. I'm just so confused. I don't know who to talk to because my mom will just lecture me, telling me its my fault for liking him in the first place. And everyone else is busy.
Whats going on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was more puzzled than upset. It took me a few days to figure out what had happened and why and then I was OK with it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My first break up was many years ago since I'm 38. It didn't take that long to get over him back then. I was still thinking about him a lot, but it wasn't as painful as other break-ups when I was older. But that's different for everyone. My last break-up was horrible, it took me ages to get over him and I was miserable for over a year. Of course it didn't help that he gave me the "one day maybe we can be more again" line which prevented me from moving on. Well, then he found someone else and just cut me off.

    It's not good that you don't have anyone to talk to because I find that very important. Are you sure everyone is busy, have you actually tried talking to them?

    It really does take time and four months isn't a long time. You say you were ok at first and then it got worse. Maybe it took some time for all of it to hit you and at first you were able to sort of ignore things and not think about time. All I can say that it takes time and sadly, you can't make time go by faster. It's definitely good to keep yourself busy though. You should look for friends who aren't busy because it would help you immensely to get out and have fun. Whenever we are alone and have time to think about things, it gets worse.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • The key to getting over a breakup is to NOT think about it and keep yourself busy. I went through my first breakup too and it was waaay harder than i could ever imagine. The first time is never easy... I was just like you sulking and rotting in my own dispair bc i just couldnt get over him and i couldnt stop thinking about him! I needed weeks even months just by myself.. and that was a bad idea bc it left me doing nothing but think. And thats not a good idea at all. What i suggest is to get motivated and do something active like the gym or hanging out or take a road trip somewhere fun. It will go away sooner or later... he's not the only guy in the world😉


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