Should I tell my ex-fiancé how I really feel?

So, I dated my highschool sweetheart for nearly 5 years and we even went on to get engaged. Long story short, I broke it off because I was scared. I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted or not because he was the only thing I'd ever known. So fast forward three years, I have a boyfriend now and we are pretty serious. We've been living together for a while now. He also has a girlfriend. I can tell that I'm not anywhere near over him and it's been years now. I have dreams (or nightmares) about him so bad that I'll wake up crying. I feel like it's because I've gotten really good at not thinking about it and pushing it into the back of my mind, so now it's coming out in my subconscious. I know that he has moved on and on the outside, it appears that I have too. I love my current boyfriend but it's nowhere near the caliber that I loved my ex at. My question is, should I let him know how I feel or do I just let him go on with his life because I'm the one who did this to myself?

  • Let him go or
    Vote A
  • Tell him how I feel
    Vote B
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Updates:
Thanks everyone. I did it. But He's engaged and getting married next year.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You hurt him he will not hesitate to hurt you. Did you tell him you were scared because in my opinion that's pathetic. Everything valuable in life that you want to get makes you scared in the process does that make you walk away. Before you get a job the interview makes you scared before you find the one rejection makes you scared. He will demand answers if you do tell him and most likely you blew your chance. Dont you think he loved you like crazy? He definitely did if it's 5 years yet you did not hesitate to destroy him because you were scared. Id be very disappointed in my ex for a rubbish excuse and tell her she knows where the door is.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him how you feel but don't Expect anything to come of it. You'll never get over your feelings if you don't express them. And if you let it go and push it back again you'll always wonder. It isn't likely you'll get back together, but at least you'll have closure. Maybe you haven't been able to love your current boyfriend to the same caliber because of these unclosed feelings.

    All loves are different and none will ever be like your first, but it doesn't mean it was the right one for you. You broke it off once, probably destroyed this guy and now that he's finally moved on he may not be so keen on you coming back out of the blue. You have to accept that.

    Or who knows, maybe now that you both had time to figure things out it will work. But you won't know if you don't try.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think you should leave him be and don't but into a relationship. I'm sure that he has had (or still) feeling for you but he didn't interfere with any of your relationships after so you should too.

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  • let him go, you blew it cause you were afraid to commit to him!!
    unless you both happen to be single again let it go

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  • i think you should let him know now. those kinds of games will only lead to more pain.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You have nothing to lose - if you REALLY have true feelings for your ex - to tell him how you feel. Normally, I don't want to give someone the chance to reject me (dignity, etc), but in this case of true feelings, you don't want to spend the rest of your life wandering "what if I had told him?"

    And, for all you know he could still have feelings for you too (this has happened to me)

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  • Well I would advise interfering if he is currently in a relationship. But if they opportunity presents itself (Ex: you both happen to become single) I would talk to him about it.

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