My boyfriend is having an affair with his social life.

Please help me!

I know that I am in the wrong here.

I think I'm jealous of my boyfriend.

We've been together for over a year, but recently he's become more likable than me, is less shy, has more friends, and is invited out to parties (where I'm not invited)

I think everyone in our school hates me.. I'm in my final year, and so everyone is close to everyone else, but I just feel left out.

Its like he's the popular socialite and I'm the weird girl.

An odd coupling, do you not think?

We keep having arguments because he always goes out with his friends, and never seems to have time for me. He says things like "Well, I just don't like wasting a day, so organise things to do in between times."

But I feel so obsessive over it, just because I only go out with friends occasionally, and he goes out all the time!

To be fair, I live in the countryside and he lives in the city, which is easier for him.

I'm starting to get really paranoid. What can I do to stop being jealous of him?

It's tearing our once strong relationship apart...

OK, I'm just gonna bite the bullet, and start socializing more.

Thing is.. every time I'm around people who I don't think like me - I always make a fool of myself! Or find it hard to talk to them...

How do I get out of this?
Little did I know, my boyfriend was also, actually having an affair.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel ya. You feel like you're kinda loosing him. And its ok to feel like that. I live pretty close to a major city and yea...its fun. It's easy to go to the city and hang out and find anything to do w/friends. Granted I've always lived near a big city so finding fun things to do is easy and its easy to become a social butterfly when you're around many others.

    With that said, you living in the country can make it a little hard to get together. The city is full of places to go and things to do whereas the countryside may have a few bars and one hot spot. If he's of age (21+) then he's probably havin a field day because of all the new spots he can go to.

    Translation::: Don't feel like the weird girl. I mean, I'm sure you have friends too right? You gotta have sum girlfriends that you can get down with every now and then. Now I'm not sayin match him night for night (i.e. when he goes out, you go out). I'm just sayin, you have to find what makes you happy (hobbys, things to do, etc). This is so very important in a relationship. Because if you allow your man's life to morph into your life, you will find yourself loosing your own identity.

    That normally happens in marriages and its called the popular "Mid-Life Crisis".

    • Thank you, that was a really sensitive answer. :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • By admitting you're in the wrong you've taken the first step to correcting the problem. Next step is to get a life of your own.

    You need to understand that being in a relationship does not mean being attached at the hip. You are not the same person. You're two different people. You really need to get a life of your own outside of your relationship somehow to fix the problem.

  • You need to get a life too, go out more with your friends.. ask him to take you with him when he goes out.


What Girls Said 1

  • youre being insecure, convinced everyone at school hates you, you're the weird girl, when you are around them you're thinking they don't like you, you're making a fool of youself. if you're not talking maybe they think you're antisocial, could just be a misunderstanding. don't think of it as them vs. you. just tackle one person at a time and I'm sure you'll find some people you have things in common with. the more you try new things, the less insecure you will feel about it. AND he should include you when he hangs out with groups and not go to parties his girlfriend isn't welcome. that's not to say he can't hang with the guys but there should also be time for you.


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