Why does my ex want me to lie? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

He broke up with me in June saying I keep trying to convince myself that he didn't really love me and it hurt him too much. I was apprehensive about him feelings towards me after I found out he had flirted with a girl while we were dating. A while back she sent me a fb message of their conversation but now he thinks I went through his fb. I went through his phone once while we were together and told him about it but did not go through his fb.

Before we stopped talking for a month I got another message from fb from this girl he was talking too on a dating website. She sent me their conversation which included him accusing her of being his ex and trying to mess with him. He said she couldn't have found you I never gave her your name and you can't see my photos. This girl harassed me until I blocked her. I thought it must have been a friend of his then messing with me but he thinks it was set-up and it was me.

Then I went no contact for a month. Within that month a friend a mine while out at a bar called him when she was drunk. I didn't know she did this until he told me the other night. I asked her about it she said some guys asked if I was single, she said yes recently and they thought it would be funny to call. My ex said he didn't appreciate it and it bothered him more than I can imagine.

He said he needed space but didn't really get that space because of these situations. It does make me upset because I went no contact to give him the space he neeeded and now it all seems fucked! The last thing he said was "I'll be happy to be your frend and if you really get the self esteem you deserve i'm sure things would be different but I'm not going to be more than friends until I know that's the case." So I asked if he wanted to make some offical plans thinking he'd like to see I'm doing better (I've worked on the area of concern with my counselor) and he sai

Updates:
and he said "you have no idea how much tonight has upset me. I can't promise anything. I'm glad you're doing better"

What the hell is going on? Next move?
He also said he can't promise anything when I asked to make plans... so I don't know if he's that eager to get back together. :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "He broke up with me in June saying I keep trying to convince myself that he didn't really love me and it hurt him too much. I was apprehensive about him feelings towards me after I found out he had flirted with a girl while we were dating. A while back she sent me a fb message of their conversation but now he thinks I went through his fb. I went through his phone once while we were together and told him about it but did not go through his fb."

    ^first of all wot was her point for sendin u a message? i don't see any reason she'd do actually... anyway didn't u tell him, she was da one who sent?

    "Before we stopped talking for a month I got another message from fb from this girl he was talking too on a dating website. She sent me their conversation which included him accusing her of being his ex and trying to mess with him. He said she couldn't have found you I never gave her your name and you can't see my photos. This girl harassed me until I blocked her. I thought it must have been a friend of his then messing with me but he thinks it was set-up and it was me."

    ^is this a different gal?
    actually it was set-up indeed... but i believe HE was da one who set things up... don't u think so?

    "Then I went no contact for a month. Within that month a friend a mine while out at a bar called him when she was drunk. I didn't know she did this until he told me the other night. I asked her about it she said some guys asked if I was single, she said yes recently and they thought it would be funny to call. My ex said he didn't appreciate it and it bothered him more than I can imagine."

    ^pardon her... if u say she was really drunk... then i guess she did it totally randomly... but if in case she was pretendin to be drunk and she wasn't... i'm really afraid she might be into da "plot" as well... just in order for him to find an xcuse to be mad. ;)

    (continue in comment section)

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    • "He said he needed space but didn't really get that space because of these situations. It does make me upset because I went no contact to give him the space he neeeded and now it all seems fucked! The last thing he said was "I'll be happy to be your frend and if you really get the self esteem you deserve i'm sure things would be different but I'm not going to be more than friends until I know that's the case." So I asked if he wanted to make some offical plans thinking he'd like to see I'm doing better "

      ^probably he plotted all those things just in order to draw yer attention maybe and get back to u? if that's so... then wrong move in my opinion.

      i guess he should be str8-forward better. as for this about "being just friends" he said.. i believe he wants to be more than friends asap... but he cannot say it now since he messed things up :/

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    • "The girls point for messaging me could have been because he was flirting with her and she found out he had a girlfriend? He really thinks I went through his fb and I don't know what else to do or say to prove my innocence I showed him the message, I snap shot it and he said it's a screen shot from his phone. I don't know what else to say to him. I did tell him I can't talk about this anymore because it's an unhealthy cycle."

      ^did he ever gave u his password or not?
      otherwise how could u read her messages?

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  • Just ignore him.

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