How do I apologize for deceiving someone I really care about?

I was talking to this guy for roughly three months. In the first few days of meeting me he asked me how may partners I've had. I answered number 'A' which a large number and a lie. He was very surprised. He questioned me about it and didn't approve of my reasonings for why I had so many. The reason why I had lied about a large number was because I didn't want him to think I wasn't fun or wasn't capable of casual sex. (this was a mistake I've learned)

For the next three months we kept talking long distance and every week we'd have a fight because of this number of partners. Despite all the arguing and fights we developed strong feelings for each other. He said this topic is something he cares about a lot because he thinks it reflects who you are as a person. He would lecture me about valuing sex more. He thinks that I might be capable of being slut again. (i told him that number was high but I'm not longer that type of girl) We fought a lot about it and I never fessed up that it was a lie. Instead I stupidly kept creating lies to cover for the discrepencies not wanting to face the consquences. I was selfish and a coward.

But then a few days ago I finally let it slip that I was lying the whole time and he was so angry. He was absolutely done with me. He said he wanted nothing to do with me no matter how much i tried to apologized and pleaded.

I understand that he has every right to be mad and that he'll never trust me again. I don't deserve his time for how i've hurt him but I was wondering, if maybe, I could salvage something. I care about him a lot and I didn't mean to make a fool of him.

I guess the real question is, when someone has lied to you in a big way would you want to never hear from them again or would you feel a bit better when they've put in effort to show that they are really sorry and never ment to hurt you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry but you have brought this on yourself. This other girl who answered and called him a jerk has no clue what she's talking about. Trust is key, and you've messed that up. Its not worth trying to salvage something, you might as well move on and learn from your experience. No one likes to be lied to. I could have lied to save face with a girl I dated, but I respected her and told her the truth.. Even though things never worked out after.

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    • Okay, that I understand. So if I tried to talk to him that would just annoy him right?

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    • I didn't want to insult him or anyone else who thinks this number is important but really... its not that important. His number was way more than my fake one and I still accepted him for who he is and never gave him crap for it. Owellz what's done is done. Moving on. No more lying. thanks <3

    • Now you are trying to justify your lie by saying you still accepted him for his number. YOU are the one at fault here, not him. EIther way good luck to you :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend lied about the number as well. When we started dating he told me he slept with 8 girls but then few months later he told me he was lying and that it was only 4. I found it very cute and I was glad both that he told me and that it was only 4.

    I think your guy is a jerk. Who the hell is 100% honest when meeting someone? Hell I lied about the number so many times as well. That's why you don't ask that question, but if you do don't be surprised if it was a lie. He was supposed to know this. Fuck him off.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • You know that it wasn't good to lie but what's done is done. It's understandable that he is upset right now because this lie went on for months. I think you should give him some time to process things and calm down. I'm sure you've already explained your reasons for lying to him? If not, send him a message where you explain why you did it (like you told us) but then give him some space/time.

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    • I did explain it to him but of course that didn't make it any less despicable. I'll just give him all the time and space he wants, meaning I won't contact him at all. I'm starting to understand now that there is nothing I can do now but hope he contacts me if he ever wants to.

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    • He started talking to me again after two days so you were pretty spot on. thanks

    • That's good, I'm happy for you :)

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