Is it good or bad idea to send a letter to my ex in order to finish the chapter?

He messed up everything we had, now it's broken. But we never actually had a real conversation, a real ending. I wrote him a letter exposing everything he made me feel and saying that I am not moving on with my life, but I just needed to put things on paper in order to finish this chapter, for good. Good or bad idea sending him this? I don't know if he deserves this "attention" but at the same time I need to know that he realizes all he has done to me.

Updates:
*that I AM moving on

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you have things on your chest get it out, but don't expect a response.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It could be a great idea as long as you don't have any expectations. Something like this can be handled by the other person in so many different ways, and you need to be prepared for them. He may not respond with an apology suddenly realizing everything he had done wrong. Heck he may not even respond to the letter or you at all. He could get defensive and lash back pointing out all of your flaws in the relationship (trust me... They are there... No one is perfect and no beak up is 100% one person's fault). You could open the flood gate of communication and he could try his hardest to win you back. Who knows.

    As long as you're in the correct mental state and place to handle any possible reaction, and you've set clear boundaries for yourself that you plan to stick to... Send the letter. If not it may not be the best idea.

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    • I can definitly understand and see what you are saying to me, you are right. I guess I just want to do this to feel that for once in my life I actually said what I needed to say, didn't hold anything back. The letter is very direct, it says everything that he did that made me feel bad, everything that destroyed us, not only our relationship but our friendship. I do not expect response but... I fear that it might boost his ego even more and that he ends up thinking that he is a total player and I am suffering because of him for the rest of my life, you know? I want to move on so bad, but I keep thinking about all he did, every single day. I thought that by sending this letter, putting my feelings on words, everything would finally get out of my system. Thank you for your kind advice, I am going to think a little bit more about this before doing anything.

    • Maybe write the letter out first and then think about sending it. I write letters to people without sending them all of the time. You could find that you feel a lot better and don't even need to send it, or you could still feel that he needs to read what you wrote.

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