This hurt won't go away, why did he do this to me again?

I thought we were back together then about 3 weeks ago he said he needed to talk and then texted me "I think I'm going to have to find myself again" and I was upset because he came back into my life after walking away. He slowly got me to trust him again then he tells me that and I cried and told him that if he didn't won't me anymore to say so and he said I already want you. Then for the next 2 weeks he became more distant. The last time I talked to him was 11 days ago and everything seemed fine but he was taking longer to reply to texts and I texted him if he was mad at me and he texts me 5 hours later at 2 am saying why you think that but I didn't reply so he called me and we texted until 4am and everything was good. Also earlier that day he said he still loves me and misses me. But I haven't heard from him since, I did text him 2 days ago but he never replied so now he is ignoring me. I'm just going to move on with my life but it still hurts because he didn't even say anything to me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This One has Said Plenty to me here, dear, and that Is: He doesn't want to be hooked at the hip anymore in a Real Relationship.
    This is Reason of the season with being hot and cold, giving you lame duck excuses because he is getting cold duck feet everytime he pushes a button that he is getting closer to your heart, then has a change of Heart because he is thinking of the Commitment that he once shared with you as two birds of a feather. He is Not Ready nor Raring for it right now.
    He wants his cake and Eat it Too with being with you but not having to have you all of the time as a Main dish, only when it is convenient for you to Continue your duties to Serve him well. He feels he can come and go and that you will always be there when he is Missing the Kissing.
    This what I call a "Full circle problem pattern" where it Continues and comes back to the same softie spot, where nothing else is going forward, just whatever he Says... Goes.
    Move on sweetie, he will never change. He is a fickle pickle who isn't koshore for sure and will only Break your heart into many different pieces and never be there for you when the chips are down.
    Good luck. xx

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What Girls Said 3

  • You need to go no contact for 30 days. He is playing with your emotions and no one deserves that. You need to stick to these 30 days and do not respond once he texts you. Ignore him, get to a more non emotional place. Let him wonder what you're doing and when you do talk keep it brief, make him the one to wait for a response. When he asks to see you tell him you have plans and suggest a different day. You want him to see your value. Guys know if we're waiting around for their reply which is why he hasn't responded. It takes two seconds to reply to a text. Change the game on him and show him just how much you're worth!

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  • You're his "old cow". The dependable person he thinks he can always run back to in case he can't find something better. He doesn't love you, or he wouldn't treat you like an option in his life vs his priority in life. He's doing this to you, because you don't demand better treatment from him. He will continue to use you like this for as long as you let him.

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    • I agree, It sucks because I was always there for him when he needed someone to cry to or talk to, and he led me to believe he loved and cared about me but he never did. I'm going to block him so if he ever attempts to contact me he won't get through. Thanks for helping with my question ☺️

    • I LITERALLY had the same situation as you with a guy. I had started dating him not long after his ex fiancé broke of their engagement (although I didn't know at the time when I first met him). He used me to fill his loneliness, drive him places when his car was randomly stolen, cried on my shoulder when his dog died, etc... but he never ONCE went out of his way for me. He'd go through bouts of ignoring me (come to find out it was when he found a new girl) then coming back to me saying he was sorry. It didn't take me long to realize he was just using me and stringing me along to fill his time while he looked for someone better. I ended up blocking him so he couldn't contact me, because he kept reaching out every once in a while trying to coax me back when he'd be "in between" girlfriends. Once I realized I wanted and deserved better than that, life was much better LOL

  • You need to cut the cord. He wants to keep you on the back burner, but that's not where you belong. Delete his number, delete whatever means you have to contact him, block him wherever you can. Yes, it does hurt, but if you do not cut him off now, he will most likely continue to play with your feelings. Get rid of him and make space in your life for people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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    • Very true, and I've deleted his number already, but I haven't blocked him yet which I need to do so he cannot contact me again. Thanks for taking the time to help me with my question ☺️

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